ME2782 - Jun 11 2016 at 18:20
Hi, wondering if I could get some advice. I met a man through work about a year ago and we got on really well. I haven't actually seen him in person for a year but we have emailed and chatted loads of times, not really about work but more about what we are doing, asking how each other is etc. A few months ago, we were on a night out and he acknowledged me straight away and asked me to sit with him. I was surprised he even recognised me, bearing in mind we've only actually met in person once and it was a year ago. At the end of the night, we shared a lift home with a mutual friend and whilst going home he touched my thigh a few times and when we were walking out of the venue was touching the bottom of my back a lot. He had been drinking but not so much to the point that he was totally out of control. I'm really confused as I don't know if he's flirting or just being friendly so I don't know how to react to it. What do you think, is this flirting or being friendly ?
Flirting, definitely flirting. Touching your thigh when sat next to you in a car can sometimes be accidental, but not putting the fingers or palm of his hand on your lower back (unless it was to usher you along, say, through a door?).
HOWEVER, if it's been a few months since then and you're still having to ask about whether or not he's interested in you romantically then that, I'm afraid, says it all and proves he was just feeling flirty on the night due to the occasion and booze. Because, if he were interested in more than friendship he'd have been in contact within a week at most (more likely by text or phone than email) to suggest going out again. (When they're into you, you can't keep them OFF you.)
Soulmate is correct, if he had any other intentions apart from being your friend, you wouldn't be here. You guys have developed a friendship over a 12 month period and he has acknowledged you further as a friend, by his actions on the night out.
He comes across as a gentleman who has chatted with you numerous times since you first met, taking an interest in your well being and has surprised you by acknowledging you 'straight off the bat' when you met up again 12 months down the track. He has kept you company during the evening and has escorted you out of the venue and made sure you arrived home safe...again, a true gentleman.
If he had come on strong during the evening or during the lift home, then his intentions would be black and white with no grey areas. The fact that they were the opposite, should tell you everything, this time. If you're still in doubt and have an interest, then there's nothing stopping you from asking him because, after all, you have developed a trust in him by chatting for 12 months, have you not??