Married and wondering
Me and my husband have been married for 16 years and things have been a little rocky at times but we always manage to get through it just fine. For the past year our sex life has dropped drastically. We can go weeks now without it when before he couldnt go days. Recently though however i find myself having a school girl crush on a guy at work. We talk daily through instant message and we even joke about our instant message marriage. I would never cheat on my husband but i would be lying if i said i didnt like the attention... My question is am i playing with fire or is it to flirt, as long as i dont act on it.
Basically IF you're being secretive or you're hiding your crush from your husband, then you should see it as a red flag and therefore playing with fire. Your issue is your marriage and the lack of a intimacy with your husband and that's what you should be diverting your attention to. You need to find out why your husband's sex drive has dropped off or why he doesn't need sex as often, and to do this you need to communicate with him and discuss the issue with him.
If you like the attention your work colleague is giving you, then you need to realise that your marriage is not only not satisfying for you in the bedroom, it's also coming apart at the seams if you need to flirt with another man...and if you need to flirt daily with him, then it's developing into a situation(given your circumstances)where there's another red flag waving at you right in your face.
It's your choice as to whether you continue to crush on this guy, but if you can state that you would never cheat on your husband, then you need to step back from this guy and think about just where you are going with it. You also need to realise, and it's a matter of personal opinion, but some people will say that you are in fact, going by the interaction between you both, cheating with him right now.
If you love and respect your husband, and have the need to remain with him, then you have the will to work through your issue, or at least attempt to, with him. If you have tried to discuss it with him to no avail, then you need to be true to yourself and sort it from there.