Cheating, abusive husband of 15yrs
LOSTEVERYTHING - Jun 16 2016 at 23:35
My ex-husband to be soon, was always verbally and physically abusive...and I put up with it all hoping and wishing that one day we be that HAPPY family. My older son has witness his abuse on me..and now hates to be home. I don't blame my son...midst of the abuse I tell him to calm down or I go away to a room and lock it but it happens twice that he broke the doors and came in anyways...and continue his physical and verbal abuse.
Just recently at his work, he is after this 19year old, and he is in his 40s. Well, she gave in and now they have sexual relationship...I put with his abuse thinking if I was nice to him and was always try to be pleasing to him..
Now I am devastated and broken hearted....I feel I lost a battle and that I will never have that happy life. I don't know why I feel as if he gave up on the girl, and the abuse..I would take him back but I know I will Never trust him. It was good just a month ago and all of the sudden he is with another girl and being very abusive to me. I feel as I should tell the girl that he has anger issue's and is abusive but than she might tell him that I told her this stuff... he might kill me. Don't know what to do.
You're stronger than this. You need to leave and you know you do. Stop making excuses for him and looking for the man that was once there.
I was in an abusive relationship until one day I said enough is enough. I am worth more than this and so are you, and your children. I know deep in there you want to validate his behaviour but there is never an excuse for bullying.
You are strong. You deserve happiness.
Regardless of the abuse the fact that he is cheating shows his lack of commitment to your relationship. I would normally put this due to a breakdown in communication, but there is no reasoning with some people.
I implore you to leave and be happy being you. Learn to love yourself again. Open yourself up to new possibilities. One step at a time you'll get there.
I believe in you.
Thank you..Lexxi . I take your words to my heart..I know I have to be strong and move on...but being with someone for 15yrs and be settled, and to start all over again...just scares me, and just not mentally prepared to live by myself and be a single parent to two young kids...as sad as the situation is. I have no family support whatsoever.
Check my problem on here titled..
My father was abusive verbally and physically as well if you don't get out of this relationship for you do it for your child you don't want him following similar actions even tho he may leave these situations as if he does not agree with them cybliminaly it could come fourth in his later years wrecking his future relationships.
If he is the way you say he is you want to leave and the thoughts you feel like you would take him back if he stop with these girls is most likely fear sugar coated in a way to gain some sort of false sense of insurance to stay to not deal with the fact you think he may harm you if would ever leave him.
I also have a question in all these instances was there never no police calls or has he ever had any prior domestic violence charges set against him in the past or on his criminal record period.
In my state and as in most they deal with domestic violence real seriously,and if by some chance he has no past convictions and you also are too afraid to come forward to pin a case to him it don't matter.
I would say typically if you could talk to him and leave him like an adult I'd say don't get police involved but it sounds like if you don't it will continue or if you leave he will try to seek you out and try to harm you this is what the police are for.
1.if you can hide a recorder get some verbal evidence it would help but not necessary.
2.If you can get any pics recent or not on physical abuse of black eyes or bruises it would help but not necessary.
3.then when he is gone go to family friends or a golden house for women file a restraining order if you have a recent incident file a charge with the police.
Don't be afraid half of his power you give him by not going to the police and fileing complaint against him if you have in the past leave file another case stay not with him never go back and peruse a restraining order,he breaks that with priors he will never win in court and the sentence will get worse and worse,trust me he'll get the point.
He likes his many different women he likes his control and power lock him up and take that away and reverse the scenario where he might not be the tough guy where he has to take orders and he can't have what he wants trust me he will move on its power and control to him that's what means most he won't give that up for himself to continue to make your life he'll sorry to say you don't mean that much to him cause if you did he wouldn't do the things he does to you he needs help.
I just want to say I don't mean to judge this man I do not personally know this individual but if it is how you say it is this needs to be done if not for you do it for your child this is a bad movie to see take it from me a stranger yes but my father was the same he knocked my mother down a flight of stairs while she was pregnant sadly said I'm an only child my mother was afraid of to talk also he is free to this day,don't fret the law was different then and she said she fell now women abuse this power and men get convicted for domestic disputes that are false,
I am no saint I have gotten verbal and physical to women in my life and even if I was tryn to leave and pushed her off me to get out the door when she jumped on my back I was in the wrong men don't hit women no matter what,so the bad movie your son see's or hears he's gonna either repeat it or deleat it,but out of sight out of mind is far better make the option easy for him or a pattern can could wreak generations to come.
Don't be afraid be strong have faith In your legal system make the right choice it's time to live a bright safe more fulfilling life for you and your child..Hope this helps :) Bob..