I need help to regain the girl i want
I was in a relationship with a girl and things were wonderful at first, like sex back and forth, most of all effort in treating me with respect and being a wonderful person with me. Like i started to see changes in her way of doing things started to change and like we almost broke up a few times because of her effort and her lack of maturity. Why do i say lack of maturity?
because her mother would tell her to take me the family gatherings and she would be like make gestures telling me not to engage on the topic.She would come to my house all of the time and say hi to my mother and i presented her as my girlfriend and lots of times i would get discouraged because like i would perform oral sex on her but she lots of times didn't reciprocate that and we would argue because i didn't think it was fair and the relationship lasted 6 months because i was keeping it afloat because i thought she could do better and become a better person , not the case. We had sex 5 times over the course of six months, like i put so much effort and received so little back , like i used cook for her all the time, On valentines day , i gave her nice roses and a sweet card and she goes let me hide the card so my mom won't think I'm kissing you, and i was just shattered when she said that.
Then i went through her phone because i had doubts and she had a guy send her a penis on her phone and like sexy texts and i confront her about it and she said it was just a friend and that it wasn't a big deal, and talking with her best friend saying that she needed peace and i talk to much and that i was too demanding, not to long after that we broke up, i didn't trust her.
Around the 2 month of the relationship , i went to my friends house and i had seen his sister but never really talked to her but he told to say hi i did and then asked her what she was doing and she told me she was drawing and been doing so for 3 hours and i said doesn't anyone talk to you , she says not really and i go you can talk to me when ever you what, and then we started talking and like her being my friend would treat me so much better than the girlfriend i had and i made the mistake of talking constantly talking about the problems that i had with my girlfriend and like i gave her flowers on valentines day as well and nobody gave her anything and she appreciated the flowers more than my girlfriend the roses
. She stopped speaking to me after that shortly. After i broke up with my girlfriend i told her that i liked her and loved the way she treated me and that i realized that she was the better option all along and she told me she was shocked and didn't expect that to happen and she told me that i have to earn her and win over and that it wasn't going to be easy. A few days past and she says that she prefers to be friends and that i deserve better than her and i told her she is the best. one day i bumped into her and we hadnt spoken in a while and she was nice about saying hi to me and even called me like 30 minutes later to have dinner with her , a girly friend of hers and i brought a friend over and all 4 of us had dinner and then some drinks afterwards, a 2 days pasted i told her i missed what we had and how we used to talk and she goes you hurt my feelings and i don't feel the same way and i know things aren't going to be the same and we are friends but we don't need to talk everyday.
i asked her did you ever have any feelings for me and she never answered that question, She told me once i had a dream with me and that she was hugging me and i gave her a big huge when she told me that. She went to miami and brought me a shirt and brought it to my house driving. I go to her house all the time and she passes her brothers room when she goes to the first floor of her house and i text her a bit to wish her a wonderful day and ask how she is doing and sometimes she replies other times she doesn't . I want to know what do i do to turn his around, respark the connection and any feelings she had for me if she had them for me , i want her i cry all the time because i made mistake but i desperately want that second chance to show her what im made of. how do i do this, is this fixable, can i regain her back and restore the way things used to be? i want her and even told everything that i feel for her to my ex girlfriend so that she would back off and leave me alone. Can i fix this situation with the girl i love and regain her.?
The thing I notice you saying and doing is that you worry about it, obsessively. And that in itself is going to continue to spread the distance between you two that you don't want. So first tip is to stop worrying about it so much. Second tip and it might be something to swallow but in the beginning you was playing with her not knowingly and for that no one deserves the blame for, we all mess up. But with that you should already expect to work to keep it going.
You see, i see i say this because I was also in this situation and ultimately ended up loosing her. Due to always asking and questioning is everything okay, how's it going. Even when i realized things wasn't looking positive. You see i thoughts things wasn't going well which ended up me concluding all of these negative thoughts and drew me to doing some crazy things man.
Instead focus on the things you did to make her smile and laugh. Don't worry so much on the beginning of try back with her so badly. You have to create a demand, a want for you. Basic advertise the shit out of yourself. Be the person she wants but don't be so aggressive. With that being said, don't accept the friend zone neither.
I hope this gave a few ideas on what to do to her back. IF you need somemore suggestions, we'd love to help you out. Good Luck bro, just don't worry so much.
Thanks for the advice I saw this late because I got a new job and havent had time for anything, sometimes I try to see how she's doing and we share the same group in whatsapp so I know when she's ignoring me. On my sister's birthday she was like hey so I heard you got back with your ex and I denied it because me and my ex would fuck from time to time and if she didn't like me or care if we we're talking or not why would she ask that. Her birthday is coming in October and I want to make her feel special , I want to give a nice swaroski necklace not that pricy, a personalized coffee mug with her picture drawn on it , a drawn portrait with a different picture, and a teddy bear I don't know that this will flip the pancake , I just want to let her know she's special to me no matter what hoping that will spark the interest she once had In me. I'm best friends with her brother and he knows what's up its not a secret Ima get him a gift too so he won't think I'm talking to him for his sister.