Children with a married man - what is next?
I would like to know what others think:
I had a 2 year relationship with a married man with kids who lied to me that his marriage was almost over. He left his family and we were together for the last 6 months, he suffered and missed his kids and eventually reconsiled with his wife and left me. Few weeks later he wanted to be in contact with me again as he missed me.
At this time I considered having children on my own as I was getting too old. I was afraid to use donor sperm and after lots of doubts I asked my ex lover if he wants to be father of my baby and he agreed (I guess for the chance to stay in contact with me). The same time he also moved away for a good job abroad and to rebuild his family. It has been 3 years since he left me. We are in contact every day by mail and phone and I got his baby who is 18 months now. He visited us on "business trips" a few times since the baby is born. It is a secret that the baby is his apart from birth certificate where his is baby's father.
I am in a limbo state hoping that he would be with me one day unable to move on. I never heard about someone in such situation and cannot discuss it much as it is a secret. I would appreciate your thoughts.
My thought is that your "trap" has not worked.
Time for you to accept that he is not leaving his family and his wife and you and your son are on your own.
Be sure to get financial help for this child whom he now considers his sperm contribution, nothing more.
Thanks for reply. I dont think he is a guy one can trap. He calls me few times a day every day. We are very close and obviously still in love. It is difficult to let go a man i love and have a child with who does not let me go either. We also plan another baby. I am not unhappy to be a single mum but it is difficult to get interested in other men when i am so much in love already. I see in forums many people discu ssing accidential pregnancies from a married man. But i dont find a situation like the one i am in. Financially he helps me a bit. But i work full time and i am ok with or without helop, this is not so important