Figuring out how to have a sex life with husband after having three kids
I've been with the same guy for 16 yrs and we have three children and at the beginning of relationship we was having sex 5 to 7 times a day! I got pregnant with our first child 2 months later. we had hard times but got back together and things was looking up. We had issues which I may talk about if I feel comfortable later on and I got pregnant with 2 child 4 years later and at the time my husband was wrapped up in a situation which once again I may talk about it if II feel comfortable later on. We really wasent getting along and when I had to have him early due to toxciemea we both almost died and he wasent even there! Than teo years later I had our little girl!.We are in love but sometimes the past gets to me so how do I get past that? Our sex life is not so great because we never have time do to having three kids! How can I get back to where I was before it tears our marriage apart?? Please I need some advice!!
You have to admit to yourself, you can't go back to your old life, but you can make this more beautiful than before. You should think about the person you were before, and try to figure out what changed in you or in your perception towards your husband. And please try to keep things apart as in your relationship with your kids and your sexual relationship with your husband. Try your best to keep both relationships on track. If you find comfort, I will try to help more later.
My main problem is that when I was younger I had things happen to me and for the past two years there's little things that during OUR TIME causes a flash back!.I know it not his fault but I turn cold and when I try to tell him its me not him he doesn't believe me and I'm afraid to tell him! Another thing is we only stay at a resort or hotel once a year " which is amazing'" but than its back to our routine and I can not have great sex in my house without feeling weird when kids are a sleep! So confused
I think I understand. You are feeling guilty for the kids, don't! I am sure they would like their parents to have a healthy relationship for the sake of more happy days. If there are painful memories that are causing you to find it hard to deal with relaxing in your own house, you have to accept them as a part of your past, they are over. There is power in acceptance. I know it is not as easy as saying it, but you have to find a way. If you can't do this by yourself, get help from your husband or a professional. All I know is, find a way to move forward, don't stop yourself from living your life, when it is your past, deal with it! You're gonna be angry, you're gonna be sad, it doesn't matter, find the truth, find the peace in your existence and never let go, and get rid of fear, let the energy flow, keep going.