Does my boyfriend still love his ex?
Hi, I need help with a situation I am in, I have been with my boyfriend for around 3 years now & the beginning of our relationship wasn't the best the first year & a half wasn't really good but I didn't think of cheating & I still don't think he cheated at that point, however his ex did text time a few years ago just after new year saying very sarcastically "HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU TO" and when he didn't text back she got really cheeky but he didn't text back then the message was "need help got man trouble" after that a few months later I was using his phone and saw that he had called her I asked about this and he said that a friend had told him she was trying to reach him and he had called her :-/ last year we split up for about 4 months and when we got back together I noticed that he had unblocked her profile from his instagram she had been blocked since he got with me I asked about this and he said she had contacted him about her daughter ( not his daughter) so he unblocked her to find out about her then just recently she had mailed him and he never opened the mail for over a week but one day I was all day and came back and the mail was gone & I found out he had called her. Am I being taken for a fool or just overthinking?
You've seen some of the clues on your own. When you guys split up for FOUR months, what do you think a man who is alone would reach to? I think we know who. If he had left his ex for good, why would he have/want to have any contact with her still? Unfortunately, most men get confused in relationships and end up wanting both.
Keep monitoring his phone/devices. Check for deleted mail. If you become even more suspicious, send a text to the ex "My gf gone for the day, want 2 meet?" Or if you're less sure then that,try this one- "Remember last week/month?" and see how she responds. This is definitely now normal, (with the little experience i have on dating), and I hope you find out soon! Good luck!
Thank you for replying, he doesn't have a phone at the moment and we are sharing my phone however it's usually only friends that text/call him but if he knows I have access to his calls text he's not going to give her the number or he will tell her not to call or text are there any signs I can look out for, she lives quite a bit away about an hour on the bus and he doesn't drive so I don't think they meet up so it's very hard to try & find things out they have been split up for nearly 5 years and they do not have any children together, him and her daughter where apparently quite close but he hasn't seen her for about 4 years apart from a few times when her dad had her up our way over 2 years ago but that's it am I being unreasonable or is this kid being used an excuse?
To be frank, if don't have trust in your 3 year old relationship with your BF, then you don't have a relationship at all. If you're not being given any opportunity to develop trust again, and your BF's contact with his ex for whatever reasons is the cause of it all, then you need to explain this to him.
If he needs you, he will sort the situation with her, but if he doesn't respect your relationship together, then he will continue to communicate with her. In other words, if he needs to be with you constantly, and he's yours, then his actions will show this to you, and in doing so, will develop trust and security between you both.
After 3 years, you should know your BF and and you need to listen to your gut if you feel things are not right. It not so much about his ex being in contact with him, regardless of your 4 month break and what happened during it, it's about how and why he responds to her contact now that you guys are back together.
yeah...you said he will not give her the number or tell her not to text him??!!!! He is probably cheating. WHy would he have a JUST a "friend" relationship and not TELL YOU? Ask him if he has any contact with his ex or if he still has bad feelings towards his ex, (that's okay if you're touching something sensitive, it prob wont hurt him if he's seeing her again) and if he says he has NO CONTACT with his ex hes a liar. Period. If he doesn't tell you he has contact, meet him in the face.
Show him your evidence. Tell him that you know he's lying and you saw the messages, and the calls. Tell him he better spit all of it out right now because you caught him red-handed.
Plus, they could stay in contact with social media, such as facebook, facetime, twitter, etc, and you can look for those little hits there. Is he gone somewhere for a long amount of time? Do you think he is sneaking out sometimes?
Good luck, and inform us how it works out. No matter what happens we're all here for you and just contact us on this thread and we'll be willing to help in a blink of an eye. :)