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Relationship problem?

My bf and I have been together a few years, he had a drug problem and our relationship wasn't good at all. He is now on medication however our sex life is .... there isn't one he says it's because of his medication, I think he's been looking at porn but I'm not sure when watching movies online alot of adds pop up & it could be that but I'm not sure, something seems strange we don't really have quality time together and it seems like we are in a relationship going nowhere am I just overthinking it or not? He doesn't communicate with me & when I try talking to him about our issues he says "I'm watching this programme" or he walks out the room and says "I can still hear you" I find it very rude that he walks out the room when I'm talking even if he can still hear me or not. Also he got a message from his ex and didn't reply however I was out the house all day about a week later and on that day he Skype called her and deleted the message she had sent he said it was nothing but why delete the message? The intamisy has been a problem during his drug problem obviously and now with his medication so about a year we have rarely had intercourse.

Relationship problem?

I'm going to answer this one as a male who had (has) problems with intimacy with his wife. These problems are part of what is affecting our marriage right now, so they are on the forefront of my mind. The causes and conditions may be different, but the thought process may be the same. I'm posting this not knowing more details about your situation, as I believe it goes one level deeper than you've explained. I will assume that the medication is NOT the same as the drugs he was on, and that it wasn't the long term use of the drugs that altered his mental state. If the latter is the case, this advice may not be relevant. That being said, have you considered the medications he's using now are actually causing changes in his attitude and ability to have sex? Is the problem impotency? Does he profess to love you? Are you two at least able to hold close to each other, physically, without taking it all the way to sex? If so, does he enjoy THAT experience? One thing a man has when it comes to sex is an enormous amount of pride. It is "shameful" for a man to admit if, or that, they have a performance problem. Believe me, I know... Continuing on this train of thought, a man could be thinking to himself that he is a failure, and pride prevents him from communicating an inability to have sex with his partner. ANY excuse that can be contrived (concentrating on a television programme, leaving the room for any reason, etc.) seems like a better option than admitting performance problems, no matter how in doing so, the relationship can be damaged. If he cannot get an erection, he would self-test his ability to get one by exposing himself to sexual stimulus, i.e. porn. If that doesn't have an effect, depression may most likely set in. As I said, pride is very strong in men. Being unable to "be a man" is a blow to that masculinity. It is very depressing. He may be afraid to admit that to you. I don't know the situation with his ex. The fact that he has, or is, keeping in touch with her is an unusual act. I'm surprised you didn't mention any level of frustration with him even contacting her.

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