First kiss fail
I really need help. There is this guy I think I like and the other day we came so close to kissing each other. Let me just say that I kind of give off this vibe that I am fearless and have done a lot of shit even though I am kind of a scared of doing things with another person. I have never had any type of a relationship prior to this kid and now all of a sudden since I have been maturing the attention I have been getting has increased exponentially. This guy is the popular guy and has sooo many friends, meanwhile i only have a social group consisting of my family and like 5 best friends. But back to the first kiss, we were having a great time just hanging out, he played me his guitar which was shit, and we talked and just the tension between us was increasing slowly but surely. Then he invited me to go up to his roof and we sat there for a long time looking at clouds and talking but then it took a turn and we started to talk about our problems and I just got really sad because I brought up some problems that have been going on with my best friend. I sat up and looked at the trees while he sat back and started to kind of stroke my back and that had me really nervous. Then he sat up and held me in his arms and i sorta put my head on his shoulder and our faces got really close to each other. He was trying to get me to kiss him but then I told him that we shouldn't rush and that I was confused because this was like the 2nd or third time we were hanging out just the two of us. He then told me that always screws thing up but I have no clue what that means. Then he asked me if I wanted to back downstairs and I mean it wasn't really too awkward because of what had just happened. We kinda hung out for another 10 minutes and watched TV before my ride came. We hugged and the next day we r texting but I am just afraid I messed things up. I wasn't to try again and hopefully next time I build up enough courage to actually kiss him. I need any advice because I don't know anyone who I can talk to who has an unbiased opinion.
Maybe a long shot, but maybe he was trying to console you, and you didn't want to look weak?? Sometimes it happens to me. It is like surrendering control when someone is trying to make me feel better. I hate it, but they keep doing that. You might be confusing intimacy with sharing pain stories. And then you might get angry with yourself for doing so. But then again if this is happening the same for a few times now, you could be just worried about how to do this. Don't worry, just jump at it. You can always say "sorry I couldn't wait". They love that :)
If he is saying he screws it up, he must have had a bad experience kissing others. And he might be afraid to mess his chance with you. So don't let him. Take control of the relationship, and don't talk about sad stories to kill the mood. Talk about things that could be romantic. Or don't talk at all. Just go straight for his lips :)