Hi I am in need of some help ! My best friend has come to me for advice she is 16 and has been talking to a guy who told her he was 18 but is turning 20. I don't want to stop her from being happy but is this a major problem? They are planning on meeting up and I don't see it as a big deal like my parents have 7 years between them like once she's 18 it's fine?! Help pls and ty
Yes, of course it's a major problem. He's trying to get his way without having to do the requisite hard work involved in telling the truth (i.e. would have to work harder to convince her to date him if she knew he was four years older rather than just the two). And as absolutely everything that goes between them in this initial phase is what builds the relationship's foundation (trust phase 1), their foundation would include a falsehood, meaning, an impediment to her daring to trust him enough (once she found out...which she inevitably would) / a precarious 'building'. Or lie-ZUH...because if he'd lie over something this unnecessary then obviously lying is too much in his nature.
What happens to constructions built atop inadequate foundations? That's right, they tilt/subside at best or crash to the ground at worst. I doubt your dad pretended to your mum that he *wasn't* 7 years her senior, did he? I imagine if he had and she'd at whatever point found out, it'd have dented her confidence in his trustworthiness and you wouldn't exist.
So, no, the age-gap per se isn't a problem, it's the fact he's trying to bag her under false pretenses/is prepared to dupe her right from the off. Hardly a team-playing attitude, is it.
How come you know his real age but she doesn't?