Confused, sad and marriage not working
BIGBLACKBIRD05 - Jul 6 2016 at 07:25
Ok. it's kind of a long story. I'm a 33 year old male married to a 33 year old woman (love marriage) for 7 years now. We have a son who's 2 years old, however, I dont think i love my wife anymore. Everything she does bothers me. I used to be in love with her before and everything was beautiful.
I had to work real hard for the past few years to ensure our financial safety and this might have driven us apart. Last year i had an affair with this younger girl from office and I believe I may have emotions for her though she has a boy friend and may not feel the same for me.
I really want mine and my wife's life to be happy or atleast peaceful which won't happen if i cannot reconcile my feelings for her and if i keep thinking about these other women.
due to this, I'm constantly in depression and don't feel like doing anything.
It's easy for people who aren't going through a problem to stand "outside the gate" and tell you what you should do. The fact is, having a happy marriage isn't easy at all. And there are times when happiness isn't the priority.
Like all commitments, there will be stages when we feel we've made a horrible mistake. But the bottom line is, you committed yourself to your wife for a lifetime. Unless there is recurring abuse of some sort, you have a responsibility to honor that commitment. Plus, now there is another person involved---your child.
Get into counseling, both individual and couples. You won't regret it. Many insurance policies cover one or both types of counseling because an unhappy marriage can cause a multitude of health problems. Your emotions need care. Rather than going outside the marriage, try to fix the marriage. The results can be wonderful.
P.S. I noticed you began by talking about one woman other than your wife. In the last part of what you wrote, though, you said you keep thinking about other WOMEN plural. First step: stop looking around. I'm not preaching. I've been where you are.