Don't know what to do
Last week I started a new job. While leaving my old job one of my coworkers revealed she had a crush on me.
We had been really good friends ever since we met at the start of last summer. When she said this it wasn't too much of a surprise as she was always flirting with me. It made me feel bad when I realized all those romantic posts online about falling for someone you can't be with were about me. The reason she didn't say anything before was because I'm married.
I love my wife and I would never do anything to betray her but when my coworker asked me last year if I was married, for a split second I hesitated before I said yes I am. That was the first and only time I even considered lying about being married. This girl has such a kind and sweet heart hiding behind skin tough as nails. Back then I never understood her reaction to me being married but now looking back on that moment, she was heartbroken.
A few days ago, out of the blue, she says she never wants to here from me again. If she wasn't such an amazing friend I wouldn't even be on here but for her to end it so sudden, so abruptly, it just doesn't make sense. She deserves to be happy and if this is really what she wants I'll respect that but she won't even let me descuss it with her.
I know I'm married and I shouldn't worry about other girls but the friendship we had doesn't seem right to end it like this. I want to talk to her again but afraid of just being harassing.
Is it wrong to care about another girl this much? I just don't know what to do.
Without being judgemental about your issue, it's all OK to have your co worker as a friend as long as your wife knows everything about her and can accept her as a co worker. If she doesn't, then your basically playing with fire because you're being secretive about it...and that's betrayal.
You'll probably find that your co worker has done you a favour in more ways than one by cutting you out of her life. You did state that she deserves to be happy and if that's what she needs to achieve it, then you need to let it be.
Your challenge is your marriage because your post tells us that you're not happy with it because if you were, regardless of your friendship with a co worker, you wouldn't be here. You need to ask yourself why her romantic posts made you feel bad and you need to ask yourself (if you're happily married) why you would even consider lying, even for a split second, about being married in ANY circumstances.
Your co worker's actions of no contact are telling you that she knows that you're married and therefore unavailable. You either accept this fact or you don't. To be frank, if you respected your marriage, there really isn't anything to discuss with her.
Sometimes we all believe what we want to believe because its beautiful.
We don't ask questions we don't offer information... so that what we imagine can still be imaginable.
Its unfortunate that something so wonderful.... has the potential to turn into pain.
Love is inspiration.
Inspiration is a powerful flow of energy within us. Its a life force.
This is what you shared.
This is what we should all share with one another but its greatest inhibitor is negativity. People are hurting one another in all kinds of ways.
Because it is so powerful, and because it not as common as it should be... it is often misunderstood as LOVE.
LOVE has many definitions, many levels.
We should all share LOVE.