He isn't single
I need some advice about some situation. I will start with the start.
I have worked at some restaurant for quite some time now and there was this new guy. Lets call him A. We were just friendly, hanging after work and talking and laughing. I mean we get along great, we always laugh together and i mean with always, always. Enjoy spending time with him. We met a few times, going to a party and then drinking together and going to some place. The beach. It all was friendly with a little bit not friendly stuff. I spent a night there a few months ago, I had a bit too much to drink and we were cuddling and it felt good. Then we spent another day at the beach the other day. I'm not sure what we were talking about, but he said "Why else would I be here? I could have been home by now, but i chose to spend it with you" he gave me a compliment before. I'm not good with them. He's this funny, teasing, smart, driven guy. With a girlfriend. So one time after work, he drove me back home and we were laying in the car, just cuddling. It felt good to me, it felt nice. We didn't talk about it and then a few days ago or maybe a week ago, I went there to play chess and watch a movie. We ended up in his bed and having sex. I don't regret what we did, I just don't feel totally okay with it. He wanted to talk that morning, but I didnt know what to think.
Okay and we talked a bit on whatsapp. He told me his girlfriend (of 4 years) can't find out. I said I wasn't planning on telling her. If there's someone telling her, it has to be him imo. I'm not really looking for a serious relationship, I'm at that point I need that easy & simple. He's still flirting a bit and he said 'Maybe we should stop talking, so it won't lead to it again'. Well yeah two days ago I slept with him again, I just needed to see if we could meet and just hang. Like friends. I think i'm attracted to him, body and mind. I honestly don't want to give up talking to him. This because I think our 'friendship' is worth something. We always have fun. But then now that sex part, yeah... I feel for myself I need to let go, even if I don't want to. I mean I don't mind sleeping with him, I don't regret it. I think It was the next step of what we were doing. He did not regret it.
But it isnt right. I'm meeting him tonight to talk, we need to. He's going on vacation for a month sunday morning. I need to know where we stand. I just need to know "what now?". I like being with him and spending time together, it's fun. I would say he's a great guy to date, or well I'm not sure if i would say that. He isn't the cheating type (normally). I think we just connected. I'm dragging on, just what should I do? Should I continue seeing him? It feels like something. It's more than just the friends with benefits. or should i stop because its too confusing? We have so much in common, dreams everything. It is weird to meet someone like him. It feels like he hasn't a girlfriend, because he never mentioned her.
I know what I should do, but I want something else. What to do? What do you think?
Wait - I'm confused. You said you didn't want a serious relationship - then you want to know "where you stand."
This guy is using you for sex and cheating on his GF (whom he wants to make sure doesn't find out about you two) That ought to tell you right "where you stand.'
Find a nice, single guy and start over.
I agree with SUSIE .. find a nice guy and start over.
"Why else would I be here? I could have been home by now, but i chose to spend it with you"
This guy is full of himself, thinking of himself, thinks hes a gift to you.... that you should feel special just for being with him.
Its all about him. AKA Ego manic. Manipulator.
In order for this to not happen again, take a blank piece of paper and write the word LOVE in the middle. Then fill the page up with answers to these questions. What is love. How does love feel. What do I love.
I want you to take another piece of paper and in the center I want you to write your name in bold. Then fill the page up with answers to the question, Who am I? This is your IDENTITY. You need to define who you are, so that you are not misunderstood again as someone that can be used, but someone strong that knows herself.
Words like. Princess... and then all the words that describe a princess.
After you have made these lists, find ways to create ART, so that you can see these reflections all around you.
See yourself... to believe in yourself.