Bad dreams any idea what's going on here?
NINALOLA - Jul 9 2016 at 07:53
I have always had nightmares since as long as I could remember. A lot of the time I wake up not feeling great
After the weird dreams I have, but whatever I'm kind of used to it now.
My problem is every now and again on and off I have these really horrible ones.
It started when I was pregnant, i would be falling asleep then I would see or sense
A dark person or something in the room it was like it was coming for me to kill me
Or take me away , I would go from lying down to standing up so fast I wouldn't even
Remember how I got there and I would be screaming my head off. This happened
Quite a lot, I talked to a dr at the hospital at the time and she said it could be old childhood
Hurts coming to surface now that I myself was creating life.
My kid is now 3.
I still have these horrible scary dreams , experience on and off. I'm half asleep I think
I see something evil like a person or spirt coming to kill me or take me away and I'm screaming
My head off my husband sometimes has to grab me to calm me down. I usually don't hear myself
Scream, my husband says its so loud and freaky.
Any ideas what this could be ?
I did have a hard time as a kid, felt quite Alone even though I had a big family,
Felt misunderstood, parents were a bit hard and criticical.
I am I guess quite an insecure person, however with therapy I am doing better with that, but still working on it
I did also abuse drugs from 16 to around 29.
I am a sensitive person and absorb a lot of energies et ...
Would really love to hear what your ideas are ? Coz I wish I could understand why this is happening to me :/
Is there a problem in your life that makes you feel like you have no control over it? Maybe raising a kid feels as hard as getting pregnant, and that's why nightmares didn't go away. How is your husband thinking about raising a kid, is he hard on you, or is he putting all the work on you? Or that having a kid is putting extra pressure on your life? You get stressed, anxious, have nightmares when your life is out of your control. Something is reminding you of another problem. You have to find it and deal with it and take control.
I don't think it's anything to do with my kid, I got pregant at 35 I was ready for it,
I really loved being pregant, I was very calm and excited. It was a very hard birth
But I took to being a mother really well I breastfed and stayed at home by choice
To be with him as I knew I was probley only going to do this once.
Its true though that sometimes my relationship with my husband can be a bit stressing.
Lots of stupid fights over small stuff. He like things done his way and doses point
Out a lot of my errors. Most of our fights are about this. When i was prevant and the
Dreams started In a few i thought He was trying to kill me.
The ones ive had the last few Times its like a black person ( black shadow ) as the room
Is Dark i cant see.
My husband said my screaming and how im reacting It im In complet terror.
And Thats how It feels , It feels like im dying.,
I was wondering If hypnoses might help ??
Last night i was kind of scared to sleep, as i had one of these the night before.
I did sleep buy im almost Have a wake, feels like im trying to protect myself or
Be on Gard In case It happens again. When It happened before i would Just say
Oh wow that was horrible but now its going on a long time i feel i need to have something
Done about It, coz its horrible and dusturbing.
If you want, there are self-hypnosis guides out there. You can search the internet for videos, or you can use anxiety forum pages, they help me a lot. You can always get the help of a professional. But I prefer to figure out my issues one by one when they surface. Especially with people. You are saying the nightmares started when you were pregnant, and they didn't stop. I am not telling you you don't want your kid, but the kid and your husband are in your life, and we people have a way of seeing our own issues on someone else. So, this could be. Don't try to suppress it, some memory or some hurt in your life is trying to surface right now. You have to do a lot of soul-searching, and understanding of yourself. But to see the reasons of the pain, first you have to see your excuses, if you can't even see what you are holding on to as a hideout, there is not much anyone can do for you. Therapy is a process which you do most of the work yourself, I can only guide you.
I dont know ..... I have thought about this so much the last few days !!
I have décidéd to keep a dream journal plus à day
Journal to see If i can find patterns.
Ive talked to my husband asked What He thinks is going on ?! As He has seen me
Do this. He is not sure but thinks i might Have a fear of dying.
Really i dont think the problem comes from My kid ! The dreams are not about him .
How ever i am on holidays right now... And do remember a story that was a lot In the
Media... A few years back In portgual where parents left their kid Alone In an apt while
They had dinner. On the plane to our holidays ( not Portugal ) i stressed to my husband
We cannot and Will not take our eyes off my son for 2mîs ! My his she agreed of course !
While on holiday i did think alot about this média story ... Thoughts like
How did They leave a 3 year old Alone ( my son is 3 ) how i could never do that !! Ever !
How the kid got taken coz of that !
I did think about that ??? Could this of set of my Stress ? Fear ?
The other option is when i was 12 an uncle tried to come In a room where i was staying
( his House ) and tried to do something sexual to me, he didn't get far... I ran and told
An adult, then locked the bedroom door, he couldn't get in but did try too again later in the night .
I was very scared, I couldn't tell anyone, the adult who saw brushed It off at my parents the next day
As If He was drunk and i was Just Araid of that ! How ever i was terrified of What He was trying to do to me.
After He couldnt get In as i locked the door, but i was awake the whole night scared He would ! :(
Am i surpressing old trama ?
My grandmother ( the other adult who was there ) brushed It off
She told my Mother He game In my room but i got a fright coz He was drunk. Emma
No i got a fight coz He tried to seuxally do something to me when i was asleep !!
My Mother never came and talked to me afterwards !!
I felt Alone !
I didnt Tell Anyone for years ? !!!
I felt like No one was on my side ?? !
They dont see of talk to this uncle now. But why ?
Why No one asked me ? If i was ok ?
Am is surpressing this ? The fear of someone trying to get me ?
The fear of someone who could take my son Just like i read In the media ?
Sorry If this post is a mess ! Ive had some drinks.
But Just writing It is almost giving me some kind of self discovery. All my mixed up thoughts.
Please. Please shed some light on this ??? Please
Fear of dying is just the way your subconscious mind present all your issues wrapped up together at one go. Phobia and anxiety, they are just telling you, there is something else about yourself that you couldn't face before, you couldn't handle. And these sorts of things are always about childhood, but it is not all. When you are a child, you go through a lot of fear and problems that you have no tools to deal with. So you build everything wrong inside your mind. You don't understand a lot of things. But in time, you start getting your answers and look from a wider perspective. And the more you take on, the more you realize all the things you went through in childhood, they were just difficult and childish issues. But you still need to go through them again, because something in your life is making it surface. That's what I need you to find. What is the connection? What are you connecting to? And what are you hiding from?
Journals are a good way to go. If you keep writing, you will finally see your excuse patterns and what is really troubling you underneath them. But it takes time and a lot of commitment.
Take one step at a time. Write about your dreams, and what it makes you feel like, and if you ever in your life felt that way about something. Or what was really the hardest thing in your life? Fear of dying, be sure if this is your biggest issue right now. Make sure. And you will take it from there. They are like doors, when you make sure to unlock one, and walk through, you will find another and another, and so on...
I was continuing to read your post, did you lock him out, could he have come in? Or it could be phantom memory, from imagination of horror you went through with your uncle. This is why you want to try hypnosis. But I wouldn't recommend it if you have false memories plaguing your subconscious. The world is full of people who think all kinds of things with the help of hypnosis that in fact are unreal.
First of all, people want to forget things, or want to believe in the good things, they don't want to believe bad things exist. And they probably didn't want to make a big deal out of things by talking to you. Wrong choice, I know. But they don't know that. We all go through stuff that we feel all alone inside. It is normal. Because as I said, people have this idea that if they don't think about bad things, they won't exist.
Be strong, and without taking any drugs or alcohol, think about what it felt like that night. Go over it with detail, and try to see that from a child's eyes, it must be horrifying, but from your eyes, you will be able to put this thought at rest. But you have to go through a child's eyes again, like you are reliving this. I'm sorry, there is no other way if you want to do this. If you are afraid, take some precautions like go to a public place, wait for your husband to come home. I don't know. Or do this without anyone around. Which would give you enough space to scream or cry without making anyone wince at you.
If this is too much, start with your nightmare or a normal encounter in your life that you had to run away from or made a wrong decision about. You could always start small. And please, whatever comes up to the surface, don't give up. Don't think this is the end, you will keep going no matter what. You have to.
Don't let go of the reality. The reality is the only thing you hold on to! Let go of everything else. Okay?! No matter what you face, don't let go of what is real. And what is real is that you can deal with anything if you really want to. It will hurt, if you start to feel lighter after a few times of doing this and make more sense about what is going on inside you, you will see it is working.
Thank you so much for your reply. You are really giving me things to think about.
After I wrote my last post about what happened with my uncle I went to bed right
After and fell asleep, I was a little afraid falling asleep just in case I would have. Night terror
Again. I woke this morning I remember having some dreams. I said to my husband I think my dreams
We're not too bad last night , he said what ? You woke me up screaming so loud and screaming NO NO.
I didn't remember that. !
About what you mention about him getting in the room ! No he really didn't but he did try, but I had locked it with a key ! I said to my grandmother ( after she told him get out ) will I lock the door she said no, but I ignored her and did it anyway as I didn't feel safe. I rem every detail still to this day so I do t think I blocked anything out ? !
I really appricate you helping me to find answers :) it is making me thinking more
Just keep thinking and writing, but keep it healthy. Don't force it, let the memories come to you, emotions surface. Don't try too hard if you are not ready for it. But don't try to suppress them either. Try to find the perfect balance, and it will be just fine.