I shut down and dont tell him anymore how i am feeling, i have become distant. He says that all our issues are just me because he is the same person he was when we first got married, but hes not. He is more dependant on me yo do everything. I inderstand im a wofe and its my job to cater to her husband but we both work and i still come home to cook and clean so i get mad whem i just finally sit down and he asks me for a beer or a soda.
Our sex life has drastically changed as well. We can go wreks without it and when i do actually get some its always the same.. Doggystyle and 5 min.. Maybe i will get some oral but that is sooo far between.. I dont even orgasm.. Just go to bed after fustrated.
Like i said earlier i work and a couple of weeks ago i started talking to a guy from work. At first it was just work chattet. Then we started talking afterwork, then flirting, up to sex text. We ended up having sex and the day after he told me he feels bad because he cheated on his girl as well. It hurt my feelings, but i didnt feel any regret. I dont talk to him anymore, hes avoiding me. Me and my husband ended up having a hugh fight last week and i told him i wasnt in love with him anymore, that i love him as my best friend. I coukdnt tell him i cheated he was so crushed, so i gave in and told him we would work on our marriage. I told you all that so i can ask, how can i fall back in love with someone when i dont know if i even want to still be married.
Most respectfully, it's not your job to cater to your husband, rather it should be a given that you support each other in every way, with everything you do together. When this process breaks down for whatever reasons, then positive communication and positive actions are the key to try and resolve it. Conflict and arguments will solve nothing.
You need to be respected and loved and you need the right man to connect with just as your husband needs the right woman. It's a two way street. If you're not the right woman for him anymore, then tell him and then start the process of moving on. On the other hand, if you feel that you both can commit to some marriage counseling, to try and repair your marriage, then do so. Counseling needs both of you to have the same mindset and needs both of you to have the need to attend. If you personally don't have that need, or your husband feels the same, then don't go there.
Be true to yourself and be kind to yourself to be able to do the same for others and this includes your husband regardless of how he's treated you and your 16 year old marriage together.
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