Help me to make a good decision.
Well, I’ve moved to Montreal 1.5 years ago, I’m a peruvian girl who didn’t know how to speak English and French, so it was a hard time to me. I became a permanent resident because my mon married a citizen, and we moved here because her, I was studying Industrial engineering in Colombia, but I moved after the 6 session of 10.
Well, At the beginning was really hard because the language but I decided to continue the studies in Canada but now it’s different so I’m kind of confused. I started chatting with a guy in Peru who was in some of my classes in the university but I never talked with him back there, we started like 6 months ago, and now we talk all day and he became a really important person in my life, so I’ve decided to finish my courses of languages and get a work to make some money and go back to Colombia to finish my studies there.
But now, I met one guy in my English course who is 2 years older than me, and he is getting closer, he is supporting me and he told me that he likes me and we kissed, but I started feeling bad because I already have this important person, I ask him to stop and don’t approach more to me, he has agreed with that but he tell me that he doesn’t like the idea that I will be going back to Colombia because a guy that I don’t know, just chatting. I know it sounds really stupid but I really think I love him. But he also told me that here is your future, maybe not with me but the opportunities to study in Canada, because I already pass the languages, just need to apply and start to the university and after all you just want to go back because him.
I think the Peruvian guy has his “exgirlfriend” messaged me to stay away from him, and she sent me some photos, and also he showed me photos that they broke, and that he already blocked her from his media and that, but I catch him lying so, after all he confessed everything but after all he still being the important person to me.
I know that the level of studies in Canada are better than in Peru and he still bothering me with that ideas, I’m not sure what to do, that’s why I’m asking for some help, I will do a list of PROS and CONTRAS.
***PROS (leaving CANADA to go to PERU)
-HIM (the important guy that makes me really happy by whatsapp and facebook)
- My family and friends (my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends)
- My mon will have his job back; (she is accountant, here in CANADA we’re cleaning in hotels)
-My studies in Peru (I have to do 2 years more)
-The weather is always good (here in Canada is hard in winter and really hot in summer)
- I miss a lot the Colombian food.
- I know my mother will be happy if we go back to Peru.
***CONTRAS (stay in CANADA)
-I already did 2 years here in languages. So if I do university here it will take me like 4 years, probably I will validate some subjects I already did.
-I’m scared of failing.
- I don’t have friends here :C it’s really hard because I’m just improving and I still shy )
- Everyone I met tell me that I’m doing good so It feels bad when they tell me that I’m talented but I don’t feel that.
- Well the new guy my classmate, he is supporting me and also asked me to ask for commentaries online.
- I will break the marriage of my mother because she will go where I go, and his husband told us that he is going to stay in Canada, so if I go back they break if I decide to stay she will start studying to get the accountant degree in CANADA.
-The difference of education, if I finish in Canada practically I can work everywhere, but Colombia just work for Latin American.
AT THE END: I don’t know what to do, when I think going back to Peru, It’s like 80% because the important person and the other reasons the rest.
Before I started chatting with the important person I was really decided to study here in Canada, but now I don’t know what should I do.
My mother saw me unhappy and confused, and I told that I want to go back to Peru and finish my studies there and she agreed with that because I want to do it, but every time looks like she want me to stay here and at least study here. She doesn’t know about him, the only one who know the guy in Peru and the real story is the guy who is my classmate (the one suggest me to ask for advice).
Please help me to get the best decision. I’m confused but also I want to go with the important person.
I already took that decision but my classmate disagrees and I would like to make the best decision and never regret it.
What do you think? (please be polite, I’m a girl :C)
What would you do? And why?
Thank you very much. ( sorry for my English, I know it’s not perfect)
Sorry, I was writing with my friend, and we got confused about nationalities, So each time you read COLOMBIA it means Peru, he is colombian.
Didnt find how to modify it :C
so just let you know to dont get confused.
Good day Peruvian Princess
It sounds like an incredible dilema. I dont have the answer for you as to what you should do, other than to imagine.
Imagine your life in its entirety and imagine it without the identity of your romantic partner, just you living your life and him living his.
You must have your own life always.
Focus on you, your experiences, your life, you.... What you will be doing, how you will feel.
This is your life, and its important that you take control over it.
In your post you seemed to be subject to everyone else. The two boys, your mom, your father. Their paths effect yours.
Which they should, but not so much as you are used to when you have these options. Being a good girl... this is how you naturally think, others
first. But in time you will realize that you life with you for your entire life, and others live with themselves. We have to listen to our
Our mind is a mixture of voices that reflect what we are taught and have practice of what is important, but then there is another power within us that desires something. Its that sense that tells us we know something is right, or wrong. Like when we lie, and tell the truth.
Our soul speaks through all that we teach ourselves. It can only speak through our mind. So we must fill our mind with options, and truth... so that we recognize what our soul is saying to us. Be aware of the different voices and how much power you want to give one over the other when making your decision.
I started off my saying 'use your imagination' and what i mean by that is to imagine your life. Imagine each of your options... and consider even more than just these. It sounds like you are young. Id just be .... and i am... focused on dreaming... and discovering and defining life right now.... being my own best friend. A relationship is not something on my mind. It will happen when it happens. Right now.... i want to have fun. I want to be connected to life, i want and need... a strong relationship with myself. When i have that... everything else just falls into place. I need to be able to fullfil my mind and spirit completely before sharing my life with another. I want a relationship where we are helping each other grow, not in need of anything.
When we have a great relationship with ourselves we are happy, we are free. Spend less time with the boys, and more time listening to music and watching movies... two forms of art...that the greatest artists on earth create. We are all artists. Pursue art, all kinds, any kinds... and enjoy others.
Something to keep in mind, is that as a good girl... you are going to imagine the very best of the person that you are speaking to on line. Your imagination fills in the blanks that you would normally be picking up when you are with someone one on one. The mystery fills us with a sense of magic.. a sense of wonder. This is not to say that he is not prince charming, but its something to be aware of.