When to stop trying to please you man?
PRECIOISB - Jul 14 2016 at 00:27
So I've been with this guy for 3 years, and in the beginning told him that I will be the main one in the relationship. So fast forward, that was accomplished in regards to him flying them in to be with him. Now he still continues to chat with them even though I said I didn't like it. So I numbed myself to it until I don't hear or see them calling anymore. They still chat, but not in my presents. Now we are engaged to get married in 29 days, and it's funny that before I moved in we got along fine, but now being here 2 months has been complete arguments. He loves to talk to his family and friends about our issues, which I hate with a passion. I may chat with an ex maybe twice a year bcuz it's not necessary to do it as much as he was or is. Moving in with him has given me the opportunity to see just how he is as we both have OCD problems. I've been married before for a long time, and he has not. He just does not get the concept of two people coming together as one and it's a partnership relationship. So I bought him a red dodge hemi charger, and when he opened up his text, I noticed that his ex girlfriend had a copy of the charger. Now how is that possible? He tells me I'm so predictable, and I have a good heart, but I hate for someone to take my kindness for weakness. Be works a lot, but i told him he needs to be able to juggle home and work jjst like i do.I do a lot for him, but I just can't understand where the arguing keeps coming in. I admit I'm stressed due to the wedding and all the money I'm paying out for it, so I would grab some beer and drink 3 just to relax and unwind. I'm not a drinker, but a lot is going one and he does not want to me drinking at all. I'm a grown women, and I make my own decisions. But I do all I can to keep him pleased and try to keep him happy, but when I'm having a moment he do not have understanding to my needs and I think it's selfish and wrong. I can't read a man's mind, but I'm a dam good women, and can carry my own, but he thinks he's always right, and he thinks he knows it all also. How do u deal with a man who think he has all the answers, and think he's Mr. Right. Thanks
Regardless if you're a damn good woman and your guy thinks he's Mr Right, you need to step back and understand that you guys need to be on the same page and share the same goals if you're to be married in 29 days. Your relationship at this point, should be happy union where you share everything together by using love, respect, trust and communication. If it's not, then you should rethink your marriage plans. Your guy needs to discuss issues with you and you alone, but you both need to be able to work through them and negotiate them together. That way he won't have the need to speak to others about them.
Just as you can't read a man's mind, a man can't read yours, and you need to communicate your needs to your guy so that at least he has that information from you. His actions, and not his words, will then tell you how much he cares about your happiness. If his actions don't make you feel secure, then you need to re-consider your relationship and where it's going.
It's not so much about you keeping him happy and pleased, rather, it should mutual AND it should be a given, where you keep each other happy. Realistically, and it complicates your problem somewhat, if you both have OCD issues, then you both need to go to professional support if you haven't done so already.