I'm sick of my life!
i am so sick of my life.It started in the second week of february i was told by my best friend that we couldnt be that close anymore so i was like ok sure whatever because the truth is i really didnt like her most of the time im kinda sick of her bitchy attitude.So we were with our friends we were like 10 or so i wasnt really feeling comfy because we dont talk to each other like we only make small talk so i felt left out i told my true friend and my sister.My sister said some nice things that youll find your true friends like her she found them after being bullied and now shes popular.My true friend said that shes a bitch and she just like me shes kinda sick of being her friend too and she always brag about her clothes and how she knoes fashion (barf) she so so dont know fashion.she told me to find somefriend and ditch her at lunch and recess i didnt have some guts to do it but i did it one day she was pissed cause i ditch her she said bad things about me and my good reputation was destroyed i was a slut what!? i dont have a boyfriend well she does !!!i was like so left out that i started to be so depressed then my mom seminar me for like 3 hours because our maid run away and owe us a huge amount she let out her anger to my sisters and i.So now we have 1 maid I help her do things clean the house etc while my other sisters just play with the computer or watch tv. My dad said i was lazy and they say they wish i wasnt born i dont know but i use to be not like sensitive now everyhurtful word i cry deep inside even if they dont really mean it and my sister ohh i wish i never talked to my sister she started teasing me ohh you have friends?your a loser!I always go to the bathroom and cry i think i cry 3-5 times a day i would be lucky if i didnt cry all day.So anyway i decided to transfer to a school its small but i like it there its high class but everyone is stopping me to go there my 1 truefriend threatened me that if i go there shes never talk to me again my sisters said everyone went through my stage and after that you find your true friends.my oldest sister said shes been through that and with the small population i wouldnt find my true friends.My sisters are depressed like i am but at least they have someone to talk to and they are popular .they have like cliques and i still dont they say that youll find your true friends at the end of middle school well that hasnt work for me they all arent very supportive. i hate my life i used to be like moms girl and dad's girl but now i hate them both maybe im still am but just a little.I hate my dad well kinda hate everytime i look at him i remember the day that he gave me cold harsh look it gives me goose bumps.hes ussually not that kind of dad hes ussually the helpful understanding one.Now, i shut my ears whatever my sister or parents say i try not to listen and ever since i sleep at 2;00 am at least i sleep at 2 last time i selpt at 4 and i have school i cant sleep ugh! i guess depression runs in our family i heard a lot of suicide attemps in my family like drinking rat poison etc im not sure if im depressed but i took a test in am depressed and its like 91/100 it says high depression well im not sure if its accurate.im confused if im gonna transfer help!