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What should I do stay or go

Posted by
on Aug 11 2016 at 19:30
Member since: 11 August 2016
Relationship advice Hey I have been married going on 2 years and together for 8. We have been trying to have a baby for a year and a half I am finally pregnant but now it seems like I can't do anything right for him and I love him and hate him all at the same time I don't want to loose him as a friend but we aren't good together anymore.

What should I do stay or go

Reply from
on Aug 11 2016 at 21:15
Member since: 06 March 2016
If you're feeling this way now, when you should be experiencing some of the most bonding and joyful moments in your marriage... then I think you already know what you should do. It sounds like there is already quite a bit of resentment that's built up, and that will only get worse once the baby comes. It's not an easy choice, but whatever you need to do, I suggest you do it before you become a mother. You should give yourself whatever you need to be the best mom and individual you can be. If you don't feel your spouse can or will be the partner you need in marriage, and especially parenting, then you need to have a difficult conversation and be completely honest with him.

Making the decision is the hard part. I agonized for 5 months. Had been married 24 years, more years of my life with him than without. Two wonderful kids that are doing very well out on their own. He's a good man, a wonderful father, and a decent friend. But, that's not enough to make a marriage really work. Love isn't enough either. You have to have common interests, needs, and wants. You have to be best friends, and WANT to spend your time together. If that's not the case, then why stay?

Resentment kills everything it touches. So if it's already building, it's time to have that talk, and decide what's best for both of you, and the baby. Finances and other situations will get worked out. So don't stay because of anything like that. Figure out what you want. Today, tomorrow, and in the next years of your life. He needs to do the same. If those things don't align, it's best to let each other go. No need to make it nasty. Just let each other go and move on. Or, commit to making it work. Both parties have to really commit though, and because they want to. Hope this helps.

What should I do stay or go

Reply from
SOULMATE (moderator)
on Aug 13 2016 at 13:35
Member since: 19 August 2014
"but now it seems like I can't do anything right for him "

Can you give specific examples?

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