He said i will be happy without you
My bf loves me to core- he has done extra ordinary things for me-but recently i m
Disturbed by his behavior. He was the one who asked me not to work after graduation he was paying my all expenses then i was stuck between decision to study or do job (study was my love and even for job i had discussed or asked pernission several times but he never agreed-personally i didnt want to do it as well so i agreed).One day he said to me "you should do something.Even if u want to do job u can" .i got offended by this.i said do you think women at home are just useless they dont do anything? U should worry abt ur own responsibilities! my bf should not be worried about whther shud i work or not- he said that i didnt ask u to work i said do something! I even dint like his that statmnt. Afterwards i textes him that u should mind your own business and u should think what iis ur ideal partner? May b u want some other kind of woman he said " u ll regret all of this". What does this mean??
Then i sd think abt your options because i can not compromise at my ideals and i want to be spoiled as hell by my husbnd.
He sd ok we shud think about it. He sent me a second test saying do u love me? I replies offcourse i lov u .so? He disappeared.
Afterwards i had been texting him but his response was very low .he sent me his one pic when i asked but not much talk.even in last 10 days he only called twice only when i pleaded.whenwvee i ask him to call me .he said i am busy at work . I texted him that may God bless u but dun wrry abt me i can live in any circumstance after marriage, work for urself not for me.On the call he was rude to me and dint talk much.he said that if u havent understood me till now then u wont ever.i sd why dont u talk? he said i m not responsible of anyone.you should manage yoursslf. i in joke said that if i managed then u will gt offended.he minded that and later texted me that u shud look for odr options.i said "no i only love u though u r a lil crazy and insecure ".i also said that why r u sad everytime ? he said twice "Better u go away i ll be happy." " i will be happy if u go away". I said sorry i cant - i am With u till last breath .he dint reply after that ( though i sent him a link abt passive aggressive behaviour.)
.He uses social media regularly (congratulated me on my fb status of my sis college result),roaming around wid frds but not talkng to me,how long do u think he ll not talk to me? Does thiz go away really mean u shiuld go away from my life? What is his behaviour refering to?
So he was all puffed up with his macho manliness and insisted that you "do nothing" and be - as you demand "spoiled like hell." That was the deal, right?
Now he has 2nd thoughts because he wants you to "do something." But he's not clear about what that is.
Can you see that you are somewhat co-responsible for all this conflict? You willingly gave up your studies and a job for him. (Not a good idea, unless you had a household of kids.) You let him control your life.
For your OWN sake, 'Do something' because it sounds like he regrets his boasting and is now having second thoughts and you need to show him that YOU run your own life. Perhaps he is having financial issues, or is overworked, too.
Return to your dreams for you own future and start to fulfill them.
You will also have to reassess what being "spoiled" by a man means. There can be a big price for this.
Susieq thank u for replying . What do u mean by big price? I dint get that last point.can u elaborate please?
Here is an another angle to the story- he is too much fed up of my using fb too much and he has trust issues as well,so i think he means i should continue my studies or do job - what so ever - so that my mind remains occupied and not in fb social media etc ( he is a bit insecure as well and he is worried about my overthinking habit) and also
he is fed up of me taking new subjects for my specialisation ( studies) and he is not too happy with that( means he has to go abroad but is stuck off whether i ll stay here for mbbs or will marry first) because the same day of our argument, he had said earlier that take
Decisoon whether u want to study here or not -
so here are two possibilities:
Either he is angry because he thinks i took him wromg (and wrongly thought that he is gettting financially pressurised) whereas in real world he wanted me to get my mind off fb and take some decision about studies or job so that he decides about his future plans about marriage and going abroad or not .
Or he is really feeling overburdenised as u mentioned . ( but i feel this is rare because he always said to me that work for fun not for money, infact he also scolded me in uni when i applied secretly because he said that self respect is the biggest asset why did u make the administration feel that u need a job, ) -and otherwise he would not have been so angry if really what i said was truth( i.e. he wants me to work for financial reasons.)
He called me today discussed random tpcs abt my family asked me to give treat to my sis frm his side.He askd wat do u do these days , i sd nuthing,household chores,wat else can i do? He said i dint ask u to do anything just asking u wats up,