So, I've been dating my very first boyfriend for nearly half a year. We've been long distance for nearly three months, and I would like to say our relationship in that regard is pretty good: We have no worries about the other person cheating. And in person, our relationship is excellent! We're polar opposite people, but for some reason it just works.
However, the thing is, along with being polar opposites, our communication styles are completely different. I want to talk to him frequently: calls, text, facebook, whatever. I want to continue the lovey-dovey thing we had going on in person. He, however, is terrible at communication, and he told me this before we started dating long distance: he hates anything that has to do with typing. I just did not realize how bad he is!
I'll text him and tell him about my day, and he'll send me a little thumbs up emoji. I'll ask him about his day, and he'll say, "Nothing much," or send me another thumbs up emoji, and that's basically all the conversation we'll have until we both have the opportunity to skype or call (which can take nearly a week). This is extremely irritating, because when I share stuff with him, I get a one word reply, but when something exciting is happening with him, he'll send text after text of summaries of what happened, and we'll actually have a little conversation. It just seems unfair. I'm not always overly interested in what he's saying, but at least I'll listen. He just... doesn't.
The other thing is scheduling calls with him. When he wants to see if I'm available for a call, I tell him up front if I am, and what time. Might sometimes be 10 min late, but no real issues. When I ask if he's available, unless it's within an hour, he'll say "Later," and sometimes not even what time. So I'll stay by my phone for the rest of the evening, and put the speaker on loud in case he calls when I go to sleep. And sometimes, he just doesn't call. He doesn't send an "I'm busy," text or anything, he'll just apologize the next day. This drive me nuts. I keep telling him that, "It's fine if you're busy, just let me know if you are so I'm not waiting around." And he still doesn't. It's not that hard, is it? Unless he completely forgot, which he never admits to and I never ask, it's not that hard just to say "I'm busy." Disappointing, yes, but at least I'm not waiting for hours wondering if he'll call. Once again, I don't know what he's up to because he sucks at texting, (and to reiterate, I'm not worried about cheating), so I don't want to interrupt him by calling randomly. We both have our own lives, after all, and there's sometimes a time difference to consider. It's just extremely frustrating!
I have a tendency to text him throughout the day about things that I found exciting, or how much I love him, or cute things I found on the internet. Maybe four or so different topics per day. And near dinner time, I guess he'll finally read what I wrote, and he'll pick one of the topic, maybe say two words about it, or say, "cool," or thumbs up, and that's it! It's so aggravating! I thought relationships were about compromise and sometimes having to do things you don't really like. Because this is all we have to communicate: texting, facebook, snap chat and the occasional call or skype.
I've listened to his advice: I've completely cut down on the amount of things I text him. I've even started crafting my messages in a way that he will respond to, because he won't unless it's something that interests him. And even then the message will last maybe two back and fourths.
I just don't understand why he doesn't get the hint. I'm not asking for an instantaneous response. I'm not asking for paragraphs and paragraphs of over emotional text. I just want him to show interest in me. Maybe ask a question or two, or even ask how my day has been. Something. Anything to show that he cares about my well being. Because on the rare occasion that he does, everything feels just awesome.
In reality, I don't feel like a priority at all. I'm not very good at staying mad, so when I bring these issues up with him, I'm kind of low key, and end up summarizing it with, "You really need to work on it; but I guess I'll also try to deal with it." I don't want to force him to pretend to be interested if he's really, truly not. But it's frustrating! And has the ability to ruin my day when I send him something and he never responds.
It's getting to the point where I'm constantly thinking about breaking up. I love him to death, but we both have jobs where we'll frequently be living long distance. This stretch will last another month and a half, and then after two months, another four or five months apart. I can't stand this! It's got to the point where I don't even want to share interesting information about my day with him - stuff that I'm sure he'll be amused with.
I just get so excited when he send me something, and then I won't hear anything from him for nearly the entire day, I get a thumbs up, and that's the end of it unless we have time to call. It's messing with my emotions so badly that it's affecting me outside of our relationship - sometimes I just don't even want to speak with other people, and just isolate myself in my frustration over what I should do about this. I just keep coming back to the idea of breaking up, because I don't feel emotionally satisfied at all. Feels more like we're friends with benefits.
Am I overreacting: are all guys like this? Or should I seriously consider breaking up with him? I don't know what to do.
Most guys don't like to text. But at 6 months, you two should not be getting enough of each other. So what's the deal?
"This drive me nuts. I keep telling him that,"
And he makes no effort to meet you half way on this?
You need to determine if his indifference is his personality, and if, so, HE'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE. You can expect a relationship where he just does not respond.
On the other hand, if you are overloading him with every little thought that comes your way, then he is just letting you talk and he is listening, very patiently.
What is it?
How is he in person? Is he attentive and responsive? affectionate and generous?
You would be well to think about this "opposite" attraction and see if him being a challenge is what really attracts you to him, and it's getting tiresome.