Did her message really mean it's not you, it's me which means it is me..
For the last month and a half, I had been in steady contact with a girl from tinder that had similar interests to me and was beautiful. We effortlessly chatted for a day before I asked and received her phone number. I was vacationing in Las Vegas when I initially we initially started talking, but we are both from the same city elsewhere. After vacationing in Vegas for a week, I went to Maui for 2 more weeks. We were talking semi regularly for the entire duration of the trip. We had some flirting moments over text but nothing sexual. For example things like "You look beautiful" she responds "you're not to bad yourself". I made sure to send her beautiful pictures from both my factions which she seemed to love. Basically we continued talking for these 3 weeks and never went more than 2 says without talking. It was always fun conversation and occasionally romantic. We discussed how we were both really looking forward to meeting each other several times. After I returned from vacation, it was time for us to finally meet. She is busy and couldn't make it the first couple of times but eventually about a week after being back from vacation, we met up and walked along a river front for about 40 minutes in the late evening. We didn't have romantic conversations or super deep conversations because it was our first time meeting. She seemed quite tired and told me she had had a long day watching her God son exc. This short hangout wasn't meant to be our actually date, it was basically a meet in greet before our planned longer date the following day.
Aftermath: After our brief date along the riverfront, or just meet up, I waited until the next day to text her about our date that day and told her that although short, I enjoyed every moment of meeting her the night before. She simply responded "My stuff hasn't arrived yet
" because she had been waiting for an important delivery. I know this wasn't bullshit because she posted pictures of her new stuff. Anyways I responded saying "Is the implication that we won't make it to our date" and she responded "As of right now since my brother just got her with my stuff". Later that day after several hours I responded saying "I would be down to do something else or reschedule" I received no response. Then I waited a full day until sending a follow up text with a detailed suggestion. I received no response. Eventually, I lost self control and after more time sent a third text saying "After a month of steady contact did you really decide after 30 minutes that I wasn't worth your time?" The next day she finally responded "Honestly I've been slammed with work, family issues, and personal stuff, so don't take it personally if I don't respond or want to hang out right now, because I'm slammed with all of these things going on." After 4 days of no contact today I messaged her "How's life going for you? Last U heard you were slammed. I would love to reconnect. Do you see things going back to normal soon so you aren't super busy?" I sent this 5 hours ago and there's been no response.
What to do?: I have considered countless times whether her message about "being super busy and don't take it personally if I don't want respond or want to hang out right now" really meant "It's not you it's me" which obviously means it is me. I mean, we always had pleasant contact prior to meeting, so is it not convenient that after meeting she is suddenly too busy to even text me back, or make up for our missed real date? Do I just hope and wait she responds to "How's life going for you? Last U heard you were slammed. I would love to reconnect. Do you see things going back to normal soon so you aren't super busy?" Or should I simply move on with the mindset that while she may be busy, "it's not you, it's me?"
Remarkably, she responded eventually... so this thread probably is useless. Hoping for the best.
How do you suppose you will react to future delayed responses? Responding with a short messages telling you she couldn't talk would have been easy. Do you think the delay meant something else was going-on?
Here's what I have been thinking in regards to her delayed responses. While it is annoying and makes me question her interest, whenever I have resisted getting upset about it, it makes me avoid sending a stupid text. Could something else be going on when she takes her time to respond to me, especially more often ever since we met? I feel like it could be anything, or she could be considering how I made her feel during the first meeting, and whether it's worth texting me back, or ignoring me and hoping I move on. The fact is, online dating started relationships (obviously we aren't official but we do have something) can be very unpredictable. You always have to assume an attractive woman such as her has plenty of other guys looking to date her. But the fact is, she texted me last night, and I think I explains her behavior, but she said """"Life is crazy. These few days are tough on me emotionally due to some things that happened two years ago. So I shut myself down for a few days."""" I responded today saying """"I'm sorry you're not feeling 100% emotionally
I know how shitty that can feel. I would offer anything, but I know during times like this alone time can be the best thing"""" I won't react to delayed future responses hopefully, because reacting never helps, and there can always be an underlying emotional backstory causing her to want space.
I guess I have to agree with you about resisting the urge to send a stupid text. You never really know why the response was delayed. I just got a delayed response to an email. It was delayed because she wasn't feeling well.