Is it enough for us to continue together?

Posted by
LITTLERAVEN
on Aug 22 2016 at 05:01
Member since: 21 August 2016
Relationship advice forum category advice forum category Hello,

I'm a 25 year old who has had a relationship for almost three years with the most wonderful guy. He's kind, smart, supportive, loving, caring and a very good person and we mostly share the same values.

Three years in, I don't know what I feel anymore.

The "honeymoon", the 'in love' stage ended, for me, six months into the relationship.

I shortly after this six month honeymoon phase begun questioning my feelings for him, and if he is someone I can be with until I die.

I think I love him though, but it rarely surfaces. I haven had that love feeling for him in a loooooooong time. I've felt it two times in a year...

I was never head over heels 'in love' with him, and I never got crazy attracted(or horny) to him, however, I don't generally, to anyone.

The problem is that I'm getting annoyed with him a lot, I don't find him that interesting anymore, he doesn't exactly make me laugh(I really don't get his humour! And mostly laugh because his jokes are so predictable and bad).

This is a thing that has made me wonder if I can stay with him, because sharing humor and having fun together seems really important in the long run?

I don't miss him when he's away any more, and I'm starting to feel like I'm acting(pretending) emotional responses.

Might this be a phase that I can work my self out of?

If I was once in love, should it not be possible to be so again?

I must mention, that I'm a thinker who thinks way to much about things. During a normal day I can ask my self; do you really like him? What am I supposed to feel now?

And it takes my focus of what I'm actually feeling(the moment), to confusion and anxiety...

I feel trust for him though, he makes me feel safe and he would be an amazing husband and father.

Is that enough?

Is this love, according to your experiences, enough to build a lifelong commitment upon?

Reply from
LOVE STORY
on Aug 22 2016 at 15:33
Member since: 22 August 2016
Hello There, How was you? I'm hoping that you are doing good by this time. Allow me to say something about your story, in my opinion, in that case that you know don't feel like love to your husband, you should be honest to him. Anyway, I'm wondering if you have talk with him once in for all, to know if he had been into something that made him change or maybe your husband has his own concerns to deal with and didn't want you to get involve. Sometimes we presume things the way we see it, the way we feel it. What is marriage all about? Is it more on happiness and no sadness, no pain, no trials, no burden? Marriage life is not like a boyfriend/girlfriend status, it is a commitment your commitment to God and to your partner to keep it forever no matter how things change the way it should be. You have embrace all things when it came to marriage life. I may not be married yet, but as I see it with my parents growing with their fights and misunderstand, till it comes to a point that my mom wanted a divorced? Then I see them now happy being with each other, it makes me think how hard, how difficult, or hurtful the marriage life, the question is are you strong enough to deal those with those concerns that you have thought with your husband? If you can't take it, then file a divorce. If not, then why not give it a try to make your marriage worth it, life is too short to make it complicated and it is too short to waste. Stop looking on what is not, but start to make things of what marriage life it should together with your husband, true love has no exact recipes to complete the proportion, if your looking for something else that is not a part of your partner, then that is not love, it is called admiration. Because when you love someone, you have to accept what he was, not what he should be, we don't need to change someone who they are according to our needs. Learn to adjust and appreciate small things that they could give us, and they give you the same, the more you think negative, the more you will stress yourself with nonsense thought. So please, don't look up of what your husband's changes, ask yourself as well, if you have done your best into his life as his wife. May God bless you both, stay strong, if you can't handle the pain, then let go. Pray above all with your husband let God be the center of your marriage, a simple prayer to God and daily conversation with Him is a big help to anyone.
Reply from
LITTLERAVEN
on Aug 22 2016 at 22:54
Member since: 21 August 2016
Hello Love Story,

Thank you for your reply and good advise :)

However,

I'm not married to my partner, we're not engaged either... We're boyfriend and girlfriend.

And I do not believe in any kind of God.

Kind regards, littleraven.

Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Aug 23 2016 at 14:35
Member since: 27 December 2013
Imagine your life without him. If that's OK, then move on.

Both of you deserve better.

You need to be "head over heels" with someone.

Discussion closed - why not create your own thread?