First cousin once removed... I think I love her
From ages 1-16 we were always together at family functions. We were close but never sexual. She asked me to be her escort at her graduation and I happily accepted, It was a wonderful night. I was her "date" she was beautiful and as we were both attractive, we "fit" in (whatever that means as I look back on this event). At 17 years of age an incident occurred between us. We were joking around and I had some whipping cream on my finger at a family function and somehow "dared" her to lick it off. She surprised me and did. We were in the kitchen and alone. I spontaneously grabbed her and pulled her close to me and kissed her fully on the lips. It was (in my opinion) intense. Suddenly I felt ashamed and guilty. This was my "cousin". I apologized and left the room.
Since that date I have seen her 2 or 3 times over a 30 year period. Most recently we happened to meet while I was vacationing. Without getting into family details (I am divorced and she is married, but in an 'open' relationship) the 36 hours we spent together was unreal. It was as if we continued off from where we were over 30 years ago. There was a sexual tension between us that I chose to ignore. We parted ways and that was that.
One week late she texted me telling me that she couldn't stop thinking about me and that she was so attracted to me and needed to see me again to 'explore' this sexual awareness that she was feeling. She asked me if I felt the same. She also said that if he was totally "off base" to let her know. When I read her text I was elated! It wasn't just me! I let her know she was quite intuitive and so began out correspondence. It is now one month later and we are discussing meeting in Montreal for one week to "explore" our emotions/feelings and indulge in our mutual desires.
Why am I here? Simple. I want to know if this is wrong. She is my 'cousin' after all. But on the other hand, society programs 'morals' and acceptable behaviour in all of us. What if this is true love? What if we both denied ourselves happiness and a fulfilling, positive experience in our youth that could have shaped our values and attitudes for the rest of our lives? What if this is a chance for a "do-over"?
Relationship-wise, things aren't as clear as we first thought. I have a biological father who is Greek (since passed) and an aboriginal and Ukrainian mother. She has a Ukranian father and candian mother. We don't plan on having children so no worries about the fable that children will be affected.
Bottom line: go for it? Explore the feelings we have suppressed for over three decades? OR, forget it. This will not end up good.
Feel free to comment.
Wait a minute. She's MARRIED but has an "open marriage"? At least that's what you heard her say. Wonder what her husband thinks.
Why isn't the issue SHOULD I MEET UP WITH A MARRIED WOMAN? instead of worrying about her being a cousin.
You talk about 'happiness and fulfilling, positive experience" and even talk about children - she just talks about exploring her sexual needs.
Be very careful, here, kiddo.
um...yeah, basically what Susie said, and then this, since the Truth dont lie...
how do you feel about having wild kinky sex with your cousin? honestly, im just putting it in type so you can read it. No judgement whatsoever.
The Truth senses emotional dysfunction on both parties. Divorced dont always mean damage, but its a safe bet, and an "open realtionship/marriage" ground zero for damage issues...it dont make you weird that your attracted to her, or her to you, heck in the Freud vocabulary, thats like being Amish(no offense intended). Sex and attraction is strange busniess.
Love is entirely different
dang it she used kiddo, thats my line