Blocked after my apology
We were two besties in uni and then came in LDR when our degree completed ( total time period of our bf gf relationship is 2 years in which last 6 months are of LDR but we meet once in each month .My bf is a great guy but we have trust issues .He is insecure that i ll marry somebody else or leave him sometime in life.( whereas i love him only- but 2 months back he read a text in my mobile in whicj i was telling to a psychologist thay i am feeling attracted towards his best friend - it was just a crush of few days and i came back strongly out of it and vowed never to repeat it -But he doesnt trusts me after that incident) .He is a moody guy as well.He is exclusive with me and that makes me centre of his life so often he goes into sulky moods over a small fight.Many people try to tell him this but his behaviour repeats.However he take cares of me and my family a lot .
A few weeks back he used to say me i am busy and contacted me very less.I left him alone and he contacted after a week.I was too forgiviing and let his behaviour go ( i understand space is necessary in every relationship).Recently i was fed up one day because of his doubts ,that i texted him that "u can even go into depression even u continue this and maniac depressive people doubt the way u r doing" . He said " I dont know about you but i will die soon . I wish i could leave you". Out of nowhere i said to him "You do not deserve me".He took this to heart and said "leave me and settle with somebody who deserve you."
The next day i apologized him on whatsap with our past pictures collage .Instead of accepting my apology he said " Its over now." I said that i am not afraid of breakup i just genuinely want to apologise because I hurted u.He replied " You made me sick.Please leave me alone.I dont need u and u dont even need me". I replied him in evening "But i need u even to breathe" . After few more of funny and love memes which i sent him on whatsap,i found myself blocked on whatsap and facebook.
I was shocked.my heart broke and tears came in eyes.I was not expecting such a childish attitude from him . Now i want to ask few things.
1- does it look like a real breakup? ( My instincts say "no" because he is too much invested in relationship -and after saying i wish i could leave u what was this all?
2- The most imp question :if he comes up to me in a normal way,when should i bring this topic to him of blocking me on whatsap and facebook? (I dont know if he has blocked me on phone or not because i dint text or call). Should i give no reactiom to his blocking means do not discus it at all so that his tactic becomes ineffective OR i should face to face talk to him when he comes to my town? I think this is a childish attitude of blocking each other on fb but i dont want him to repeat it as a pattern as if he takes it as my weakness (me discussing him this topic-as if -its that much important to me?
You did mention that your BF is a moody person with a the dummy still in his mouth did you not? That being the case, the previous poster, Susiedqq, has said it all..you guys need to talk face to face, especially when it's so easy for your 'child' of a BF to block you and shut you down whenever he feels like it. You need to determine if your relationship is worth it because your BF will never change while you run after him when he decides 'to spit his dummy'.
If you don't have trust in your relationship, and your post tells us that your BF doesn't, then your relationship basically doesn't exist. After 2 years, if he's insecure that you'll marry somebody else then it's telling you that you're forever going to be running after this guy trying to convince him that you are the one for him.
The guy needs to grow up, and that could take forever, but you need to make a choice if you need a guy who will forever drag you down or you need a 'no nonsense' guy who will grow old with you and be in step with you all the way. In other words, a guy who shares your values and has similar goals for a life together.
You mention a weakness in your post but your weakness is your love for this guy and you really need to stand up to him and stand up for yourself and basically your actions should show him that he doesn't have any right to treat you the way he does, simply because he's a immature, moody and insecure individual.
Let him stew in his own juice; you don't need to get into the pot with him.
I basically mean to say - i ll react with actions
means ignore him for a while if he comtacts me -but meanwhile should i discuss it face to face whenever we meet ( verbally talkin about blocking me ) ? i mean this topic or facebook blocking is worth discussing ( i dont want him to know that his action had so bad impact on me but i do want him to be frds with me on fb and never repeat this again) thats why asking about it.?
The point is that after 2 years, it should be a given that you know this guy and know what he's about and if he loves you that way you love him, then the drama that your post is about shouldn't happen. You need to step back from your relationship with him and ask yourself what you love about him and what your goals are for the future and whether he shares them with you.
You need to understand that if you love this guy, and put up with his childish behavior then you basically have accepted all of him and you are prepared to put up with his immature actions. It's not so much about tactics and how to respond to him, it's about the way he manipulates you and treats you and the reason why you find yourself in this situation.
Yes i am thinking about it but i do want to live this life with him .I know he loves me a lot. I do want to put this childish side out of him and i am working on that. I cant control his actions but i can change my reactions and that might affect his actions (not repeat the drama) . What about the idea that i block him after he unblocks me ? Will it be affective- as in - have your own taste?
To be frank, if you're thinking about 'tit for tat' then you need to have a look at your first post and see what sort of reaction your actions and words get from him.
You have an opportunity now where you need to be the mature one in this situation and rise above his behavior. if he does suffer from depression, then it's up to him to fix it. Sure, you can be there for him but you need to be the strong one and by blocking him, you really not taking control, rather you're giving him another 'win' which will solve nothing.
Your challenge is to decide whether he's worth it no matter how much you want to live your life with him. By playing his game, you are only going down to his level and if you're at his level, you'll never get him to admit to his behavior which his first step which he alone has to take to address it.
Your relationship is LDR at the moment, but you need to to have a serious 'heart to heart' with him in a very direct way. Leave the blocking etc out of it because that alone is childish behavior.
Ok manalone .But you know what he didnt let me do job when the first time i got it and i am financially dependent on him.And now here there is job recession as well.Atleast for the coming month i have zero penny saving.And (sigh) i would have to contact(text) him to send me money for my uni bills (which he pays always) but i dont know if i am blcoked from fone as well.In that case(rare) i will have to text him from some other number.I am trying to find an online job but for now i have to contact him.I am finding out a way on how to text him showing no interest/mercy/trap in his last childish act but taking my right as well( as he says you are my responsibility etc). After our uni ended and my fathers death he took a lot of care of us .But as it says that "Its not what you say,its how u say it". So i am looking for exact approporiate words something like "Sorry to disturb u .. AIOU last date is coming ,can u send me some amount?" .Hope they dont sound clingy :/
First i thot i ll text him like "AIOU last date is here,will u come for submitting form?" But then i thought that it looks like an invitation,indicating that i have forgotten or chosen to forgive his last act of blocking me from his life.
OK enough said..you're basically thinking your biggest issue is how to get him to respond to you without you losing face so he can continue to pay your bills.
At the moment YES! I am dependent on him.
And also if i didnt take admission this month then i ll have to wait 1.5 year when this admisson will reopen. Unfortunately i have to find a way to ask him to submit my form or pay me so that i can submiy because 5 september is last date.
My decision to not respond or not let him mistreat me is still there and i dont want him to talk to me or come back having love poetry,but do pay my bill otherwise will be left for a long time to wait if i missed this opportunity.
And besides that, i do not text or talk to him after that (he will just send me through online banking(hopefully) if my message reaches him) ,Again Leaving him alone,to sulk and stew in his own juice.
MEE is my nick .Sorry i just forget to put my original one there.
And i am missing him like hell. :(
I just saw he unblocked me from facebook but not from whatsap..
He called me today my himself .Asking me how is everybody, i Replied him very briefly later i told him about my fee he said i ll com tomorrow do u wana meet? I said if u want to. He said i asked u . I said "dont ask me ask yourself".