I can't stand up for myself?
I can't stand up for myself. In my old school, i was a very shy person who couldn't speak up for herself. Then i went to this new school, thinking, 'cool, this is my chance for a new start!' So i took it and i because a friendly and fun person. I asked a new friend i met if she thought i was shy and she said no.
But even though i changed my attitude, i can't stand up for myself. We were assigned to play out a skit and i played my part well, i thought i had a loud voice, certaintly louder then before and about the same loudness of the other boy, some of my other teammate's voice was shaking.
But then my other teammate started teasing me for having a 'quiet' voice during the play, saying no one could hear me and was imitating me. Later on that day, he and his friend was tricking me into believing false things (i'm a gullible person) I used to be bossed around by this other girl but she left, and i thought if i changed my attitude in my new school it wouldn't happen again.
I had heard that the new school had meaner kids because other kids from other schools were coming over, and they weren't as laid back or as nice as the kids from my school. I kept that in mind but i didn't expect to have a repeat of before happening so fast again.
I know it isn't quite 'bullying' or anything, but i want to say something back and not dread the periods again where i'll get tricked and insulted again, i want to let them know that they can't say that to me. I'm a witty person in general and normally and with my friends or family joking with me i would have had 5 witty responses straight up, but when i actually have to face a person saying that to my face in plain rudeness, i feel like i had run into a wall and can't open my mouth.
i want to say something because i don't want to go down the same path as last time, but my impossible crush sits next to me in both of the periods of the person teasing me, and just stares at me when the other guy's teasing. It puts more pressure on me and i cant say anything but nod and pretend not to care.
My crush is friends with a lot of girls and is from one of the other girls. I know he won't ever like me, but it's on and off because he also tricks me, but i saw him stick a note on another girl's back and laugh silently.
But most of all, i just don't want the teasing to start up again and i don't want to get bossed around. So how do i speak up for myself? Are any of you out there somewhat shy as well? Like what in the world can i say when he teased me about my quietness?
And why do i fall for the impossible crushes. -.-
btw, i have picture day tomorrow, any advice?
The first thing is to get over this idea that everyone is out to "trick" you.
Hey - you are in an environment where everyone is struggling. There is a "pecking order" going on, and you don't want to give the message that you are willing to be on the bottom of this order.
So start to laugh things off. When someone blocks you in, start laughing and say, "Oh, you are so funny. Come on, let's get a soda" (or whatever)
You can NOT let them think that their remarks have power over you. That's one way a "victim" gets made.
PS About the "crush" - just enjoy it. It will change several times during the year. And someone may have a crush on YOU and you don't even know it! Look around and smile more.
As much as life changes once you get out of school, a lot of things stay the same. In school, kids are much more juvenile and selfish in their insulting of others. As you get older a lot of this childish humor will go away, though it will give way to different kinds of fighting and arguing over what is and isn't right and wrong with society. It is disappointing to learn that life never becomes really professional, but at the same time you will find your own ways of dealing with it.
I'm relieved to say that, with time, people move on. Gossip gets old. Some other person does something and becomes the center of negative attention for a while. And if you just live your own life, then eventually most of your peers will be more concerned with their own ongoing crap than what you're doing. I remember that by my senior year most people just kind of ignored me because I was nobody. Sure, there would be occasional irritating moments - people muttering about me under their breaths, invading my personal space rudely, and doing quick and annoying things like making weird noises like the one time of day when they would actually cross paths with me. But they had honestly grown bored of bothering with me - it simply wasn't as fun for them anymore because I didn't care.
One thing I learned - and this is just within the last few years - is that you can make friends and speak your mind, and not feel insulted. But you have to be willing to give a little. Once I loosened up a bit and stopped pointing out how I disagreed with certain things my acquaintances said, I realized that they didn't take themselves too seriously and were more likely to open up to me and become friends, if I showed them that I could do the same and not take every little thing so seriously.
Standing up for yourself though, it is something that I still struggle with sometimes. You have to ask yourself how much each argument means to you, and whether or not it's worth it to fight over something. Sometimes you can brush off minor squabbles with the help of humor and friends. With those things that really insult you personally, though, you have to decide what kind of response is reasonable, and what you have to do to get your point across that something people said or did deeply bothers you. Your personality, how well people know you, and the reputation you've built with people will determine how far you will need to go to make it known that you're not okay with something.
School doesn't last forever, and neither does a lot of other things. Take comfort in that fact, and realize that life is not without its conflicts.
I kind of turned the teasing into a joke and we were all laughing about it
But i don't get how they could tease then laugh it as a joke