VNFL00 - Sep 2 2016 at 16:45
I have only been married for a year and I am utterly miserable. I've expressed my feelings for SEVERAL months and no real efforts are ever made. We have a baby and I have 2 kids from my previous marriage. We have solely become roommates who barely get along. He has a habit of living in denial I guess and just pretending everything is fine and happy. I have never felt so lonely and dissatisfied while in a relationship. We have NO connection whatsoever. Emotional, physical, absolutely nothing at this point. We tried therapy and very quickly he didn't like what he was hearing from counselor and basically checked out. I've even brought up the idea of maybe taking a break, while living together and dating others. I'm at a point where I don't know what to do anymore. I have no interest in therapy, I feel we are so past that point. Due to all the neglect and rejection I've felt I lost all hope and interest in making things right. If we didn't have kids involved, I would be long gone. But it's also not good for the kids to be a part of such an unhappy marriage. We have faced a multitude of issues: intrusive family, intimacy issues, trust issues, The list goes on! I've tried to just disconnect and make it work living together but my desire for a better relationship and intimacy takes over!! Does anyone else experience the same? How do you handle it? Any advice will help ðð
I think you'd better off on your own.. think abt 5 yrs from now... would u still wany to stay stuck and keep ur kid stuck too? Id suggest u to leave.. if he isnt willing to change then there really is no point sweety
You may want to do some research on people that are "emotionally unavailable", or EUP's. If that's what's going on with him, and he has no desire to work on or change that, you have no choice but to walk away and save yourself and your kids. Don't wait 24 years like I did. Only makes it harder, and you're still miserable all those years, hoping things will change or improve. They won't. Not unless he wants them to. But most EUP's are making a conscious choice to be that way, and rarely change, for anyone. Not even for themselves. It's a sad situation, but you don't have to go down with his sinking ship.
I spent more years of my life with him than without him. I loved him very very much. He was my best friend. And less than 6 months after leaving him? We've basically strangers that share two wonderful kids and memories. And that's okay. We're both sooooo much happier, and we get along so much better when we are together for family events. Sometimes you have to do what's healthy for you and your kids, especially when there's little to no hope of cahnge in the situation.
Best of luck and we're here for you. <3
"I have only been married for a year and I am utterly miserable. I've expressed my feelings for SEVERAL months and no real efforts are ever made."
Sorry - what are the things you want him or expect a husband to do that he's not doing and refuses to do? And has he never done them?
"We tried therapy and very quickly he didn't like what he was hearing from counselor and basically checked out. "
"We have faced a multitude of issues: intrusive family, intimacy issues, trust issues, The list goes on!"
Well, what WAS he hearing? And issues in what regard?
Can you be more specific?
Also, when did you meet and how was the relationship prior to his marriage proposal?