Fell in love with a man that has terminal cancer
TEMPLE - Sep 6 2016 at 08:13
Thank you so very much for listening to this long story. I recently reconnected with an old friend that I had feelings for many years ago. Well, we ended up sleeping together for a couple days and then he did not contact me for about three days. I text him a couple times, but was pretty sure that he might not ever contact me again. It was intense. We talked for hours, etc. but I know how these things go. He had also told me that it was impossible for us to have a relationship about half way through these days but that he wanted to see me again, etc. So... he contacted me again and apologized. We ended up at his place for the next two days where I met his friends and we pretty much felt very free with each other, etc. Then he told me that he was in love with me and that he was trying to work this out and to not become mad at him. He had told me that he had cancer but I just didn't get it or didn't realize it or didn't care. but he made it clear that he believes he is dying and that he may not have much longer but really wanted to be with me. So I came back the next day. I am in love with him. He was really sick and acting differently. He was very sick. He said he didn't want to put me through this and that I wouldn't want to be with a sick man and that he was sick alot. I hadn't really realized the extent of his sickness before. He told me he wanted to be solo for awhile and I took this as sort of a break up but not really. He then didn't get back to me for a few days again and then just to tell me that he couldn't have a relationship. We ended up talking for hours and then he rather abruptly hung up. I love this man. I have been worried and sad for the last four days. But then I went out to a comedy show (which I hadn't really thought about it being a comedy and laughed alot- am I psycho?) I cried about it tonight. I am in love- all the feelings- the compulsion to be with him-thinking about him- wanting to be there with him- everything- real biological and psychological factors that make up being in love. I don't ever want to be with anyone else again. Should I keep my distance. Will continuing to contact him push him further away- could it be that he just doesn't want to be with me? thank you I am such a loss
If you love this guy and he really is dying, and he loves you too, then you should want to see him as much as possible if he really doesn't have much time left.
He could be making things up in an attempt to rid himself of you. That's sneaky if this is the case, because your only way of really judging him is how he acts, and if he lives. He could be telling the truth and pull through somehow - these things happen, of course in that instance he would still love you if he means it, and still want you around.
His abrupt change from seeming fine to seeming like he's on his deathbed is kind of strange. But not much else in your post is a huge red flag to me that he is lying. He is dealing with a difficult situation, perhaps that is why he didn't contact you right away. Maybe he has a bucket list, and just wants to sleep with lots of women before he dies. Maybe in the midst of that, he didn't expect to meet someone quite like you.
I think you need to do what feels right right now. But realize that if he is telling the truth, you could be dealing with a lot of emotional turmoil in the near future. You will have to be a strong enough person to deal with that possibility, and prepare for a life after this.