He asked for a break so I dumped him, did I do the right thing?
I recently met and dated a guy I'd been friends with online who lived far away from Me and I decided to meet Him. When we met , we started having a relationship bearing in mind all the things we'd told each other about what we actually wanted.I took the plunge and it was pretty dreamy.
We got along, we were great friends and despite the gross stuff like farting etc (we were living with each other at his friends place when I visited Him). It was almost too perfect, we spoke about plans for Me to move to his city and living together and a whole bunch of promises. Even marriage one day. I don't really care about that stuff but I loved him very much and He seemed to care. The sex was great and He took some time to help me with My career goals and giving me advice.
It wasn't until I accidentally met his Mom that things started changing. He lied and told her that I work with Him and that hurt me but I acted cool. When I eventually left I was really mad and told him via text what the deal was. Especially with his Mom with the intention of breaking up.
he replied "Hmmm I need some time away from you"
I replied" I'm not asking for time away, I'm saying I'm not coming back"
Basically I lost my marbles because instead of responding he told me he needed a break
I got angry , told him some stuff and then blocked him.
The next day I unblocked him hoping he had tried to make contact but He didn't.
I don't know what to do now. The last time a guy said He wanted a break I cut the call and never saw Him again but for 2 years I wondered what made Him leave....And I'm pretty sure it's happening again. Did I do the right thing? I don't want the past to repeat itself and wonder why all over again. All I want are answers. I don't think I can wait or beg him to stay after trying so hard just to see Him. It's not fair
he replied "hmmm I need some time away from you"
Why didn't you ask him why?
"The last time a guy said he wanted a break..."
Why didn't you ask him why?
"I don't want the past to repeat itself and wonder why all over again"
History repeats itself.... Unless you learn the lesson that comes with your "uncomfortable situation".
"All I want are answers"
The answer is within you.
Instead of saying it's not fair, re-examine the whole case.
Why do you think his mom's appearance affected your relationship with him...
Is it better to discuss issues instead of chopping people off...
Ask (yourself) constructive questions, the answers are all inside you
Unless you have the skill, anger is never a helper
I think I get angry first and think later especially because I felt like He was possibly stringing Me along all this time.
I don't know. I guess this means I did the same thing cause with that other guy I cut him off after He asked for a break on the phone. A break to Me sounds like a break up but You're too chicken to say it so I just get MAAD.
So if He wanted a break why did he ask for one after I mentioned the incident with His Mom? Why not before I met Her???????????
I just want to know why people play games like this. He's 24 not 13, He could've told Me He's not that into Me instead of jumping into the safe zone
I would have wondered why he told him mom that you worked with him. Maybe he didn't want to tell her he met you online. In any case, you could have asked.
You said "He lied" and that made you mad. Perhaps you have a short fuse about men who lie. Nothing wrong with that, but unless there were some other things you didn't like about this guy, your reaction seems extreme. He sensed that.
But, in fact, his recommendation that you two take a "break" tells me things weren't going so smooth, anyway. Maybe he has a short fuse about girls who over react.
Now you have thrown the baby out with the bath water. OR you have dodged a bullet. Only you can decide.
Having regrets? relieved?
Best to think this through before you take any action. Take a good, hard look at the relationship and see if it's worth trying to resurrect.
This guy was using you from day one and you'll probably find that you're not the only one to experience his disrespect. Regardless of his age, he's immature and a coward to say the least. There's nothing you can do to change him or his attitude. His actions and words when you accidentally met his Mum says it all. You blocked this guy, but you made it easier for him to achieve his goal of having a break from you. This sort of situation deserves direct answers face to face..texting is too easy and achieves nothing.
When you put considerable effort into meeting someone and 'connecting' with them online and attempt to get to know them through words, you need to understand that you're better off putting this effort into meeting someone face to face and getting to know them through their actions. You then have the opportunity to determine if they share your values and your goals for life regardless of how dreamy it can get. This guy's actions tell you everything about him and basically, when you break it all down, he never was 'with' you.
Above all else, you need to determine what you need and expect in a partner and then be true to yourself and choose a partner who who comes up to your standards. Respectfully, you will never need to beg with a guy who loves and supports you totally because you did 'the hard yards' of getting to know him personally face to face in the beginning.
Yeah, I thought about it and today I feel like I'm glad I let it go quickly. This time I let him know that I'll give him his gifts back and that I want my clothes and if He doesn't respond that's okay. It's time to move on
"If he doesn't respond that's ok. It's time to move on"
Well done! Way to go girl!!