I'm stuck and sick of it
I can't lie and say that I don't feel sorry for myself because what else is depression and not being able to get out of it? Do I want to be like this? No. I want to move on and I don't know how.. And by that I mean I know certain things like "talk to friends", "get that job/class/hobby started that you want", "live healthier", blah blah blah...
I get that; but it's more the action of moving on that I don't understand..
I know what part of my problem is. It's living with my family. When I moved out for a while on my own (I mean with people my age), I was actually doing good... Then my room-mates went crazy and a lot of weird stuff happened. So I had to quit my job and move back to Chicago with my mom and brother all over again.
Grandparent had a couple strokes.. I quit the next job I had to help out because my mother was going to have a mental breakdown if she went through it alone. Then I thought I could possibly get financial aid to go to college because I never got to go before. But my taxes are apparently messed up and so I have to get another job.
On another note I'm trying to teach myself *insert language here* and visit the other country because I think I might want to live there. I've studied the culture, the food (so good), the music and a lot to do with where I want to go in general. It's been a sort of dream and passion of mine for a long time and I'm wondering if maybe I should just drop everything here and move there already... Half the time I consider leaving everything and joining one of those libertarian farm communes or something. Like I said though the culture and country (language too) has been a big interest of mine since I was yea big.. Uhm that means when my age was in the single digits.
So... there's the gist of my life story. On to where I need some advice.
I am torn between two choices..
1. Just continuing my language studies and moving over there.
2. Visiting the country I want to possibly move to for a couple months in spring and then come back home. Apply for financial aid again for the next school year and then go from there. See if I can transfer abroad if I really want to go back to the other country.
Thanks to all who read this.
All i will say to you is: pray. Pray to God that your depression is removed that he gives you peace and serenity. To help you make the most difficult decisions in your life. To help you through any and everything even the most personal things you have never shared with anyone. God has you, and wants you to come to Him & tell Him your problems so He can help you.
Cast your burdens on the Lord and he will give You rest. The Lord doesnt put anything in your life that you cant bear. You can do all things through Christ that strenghtens you. You are more than a conqueror.
Just pray and wake up each and every day saying that the problem is now in God's Hands and i have nothing to worry about. Waks up every morning sayingg, this feeling of depression will no longer get me down, but i will stand up against it because this is not the place I want to be in anymore. Write it down. Declare. Scream it. Shout it. Live it. Be blessed ~
You mentioned part of your problem is living with your family.... Then again when you moved out, your roommates did crazy things...so you had to quit your job....
There will always be situations to handle. Learn to be calm.
If I was given (your) 2 choices' I will choose no. 2
First, I visit the country, that gives me a chance to see the real thing before I decide to move myself there for good.
Then come back and do my next school year - another year of education will add to my qualifications.
With this choice, I can also help my mother... and grandparent.
Thanks, you're right.
I know it's taking longer than I would like and I shouldn't be so hard on myself (it's not like getting upset will move things along faster) but it's hard to ignore the feeling of frustration sometimes.
Anyways, I had thought longer on it and I am going for option two; Unless I find an awesome job opportunity with security over there, then I make no promises. I had talked to my Aunt and other Grandparent that lives out of state about staying with them for a bit because they live near a good college (about 30-45 mins depending on how fast you walk) when the new term starts.
So fingers crossed, and sorry about not responding back earlier. I never got an email alert on your post.:/
Thank you again ~