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Confused

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Relationship advice My husband and I are very young and only been married for a short time but we've known each other for 7 yrs. we have a child and we moved to a new place and a new state all on our own. We've been having more problem than I can personally handle. I feel as if he thinks I'm his maid, he was babied by his family and making me take their position. I'm not fine with that I also feel as if he doesn't help enough with our daughter. I've been having feeling as I want to be by myself I really want to find myself. I want to find my own purpose in the world . When two people come together I feel they should build each other up but all were doing is tearing each other down am I wrong for having these feelings

Confused

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You're entitled to have those feelings and it's the circumstances of your situation which bring them to the fore. You're correct when you speak about two people coming together building each other up, but you're learning that two people need to work together to keep a relationship/marriage healthy. Regardless of the time you have known each other, you both need to remember your recent marriage vows. You guys need to share certain goals and you both need to commit to each other properly. The fact that you relocated to and are 'alone' in a new state speaks of a certain commitment but it also leaves you isolated when things go pear shaped and you start to tear each other down as you state.

If your commitment that you do have isn't working, for whatever reasons, then you need to discuss it with your husband to try and sort it using positive communication. If this doesn't work, then you need to explore others ways such as counseling. There's nothing wrong with you trying to find your happiness or your place in the world, but you need to do it properly.

You owe to your husband (and he to you) and to your daughter plus yourself to totally exhaust all of your options before you consider walking away where you will need to find the right environment for you(and your daughter presumably)to be happy.

Confused

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Come back here if you're having problems communicating with your husband maybe we could help. We've done it before.

Confused

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It appears from your post that the major problem you have with your husband is that he does not do his fair share of work in the house and also in taking care of your daughter. We all come from different backgrounds and your husband seems to come from a family where everything was done for him. As such, it is not easy for someone like that to switch into a role where they have to start doing things around the house etc. It is not very natural to him like it is to you. I suggest you talk it out with him and try and distribute the work in such a manner that it does not overwhelm him. You need to increase his load gradually.

Assuming there are 10 task to be done daily in he house. Maybe let him handle 2 or 3 for a start and slowly try to increase over time. Remember you both love each other and the last thing you want to do is compromise the love for each other. Loving each other is the most important thing, everything else is secondary. You have to keep that in mind always. Do not let anything come in the way of your love for each other. Yes you may have to do more and he is doing less but that should not reduce the love for each other. In fact, when you are faced with relationship issues you should try and find ways to show more love. This will have a very positive impact on your partner. In your loving way try to share your load with him and don't isolate the chore. These chores are done for love of each other and your daughter. Focus on the love and everything will come right.

As for the purpose in life. You already have a purpose in life ie. a loving wife and mother, and from this platform you will be able to embrace all of life. Please take one day at a time and focus on keeping love alive all else will fall in place in time.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

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