Adult work escort
My husband of 23 years has been seeing an escort - although he has denied she is a prostitute. He is often on Adultwork and having identified her and his ID he only gives her feedback so I assume he only interacts with her. He has admitted having seen her in person (she gives an amazing BJ). As I said we have been married 23 years. Our sex life dwindled some years ago. I believe he has had a few emotional affairs over the years and I believe this is the only physical relationship. He is self employed and I never know where he is from one day to another. When he sees her it is during the working day. He is all I have and I don't know if I can put up with this much longer. I am going crazy checking Adultwork every morning to see if he and she have been on line. Checking his mobile account every month to see if he has texted her ( he used to text her regularly). He tells me he hasn't seen her for ages. I don't know if I believe him. He told me that he is not in love with me but does love me. I feel like I'm the cook and cleaner. We haven't made love for years ( we satisfy each other once a week) and although I have asked him to have intercourse with me he said he isn't ready yet. I think he is or has been going through a mid life crisis. We have been refurbishing our house which has been stressful for us both. I have no one else. He is my life. I don't know what to do.
Yes, he may be your life but what sort of a life? You accept everything about him and his actions but you need to understand that your marriage isn't a marriage of love and respect, rather it's all about convenience. You don't have trust and therefore your marriage basically doesn't exist. Your husband may be going through a personal crisis but then you state he hasn't supported you for years.
You will eventually make a decision as to whether you stay and put up with it or decide that enough's enough. While you send yourself crazy looking for his latest actions online, you could be directing that effort into stepping back from your marriage and having a good look at it. Finding the courage and the strength to act positively are your first steps to resolving your issue rather than check his mobile phone account; a negative action which basically keeps you on a merry go round of misery and confusion.
While you accept your husband's behavior, you will always find yourself where you are now. You have a choice and going by your post, it's should be a choice which benefits you and you alone.
If you question your happiness with him most days a week,
Find more negatives in your marriage going on then positives?
Feel yourself as the martial doormat?
Become a slave to this idea of "love" to accept everything and sweep it under the rug and live on feeling like number two , when really, one who loves you treats you as number one always and indefinitely.
You deserve happiness a love which you dont have to second guess or feel insecure and can love with no boundaries,
You have two choices
1 attempt to resolve the issues through couples counselling and both be purely 100% open with eachother and rekindle this love together
2 grow a back bone and wings and find eternal happiness with someone who makes you feel complete each and everyday of your life with no limits or doubts.
DONT CHOOSE TO STAY BECAUSE ITS CONVIENIENT, IF YOUR NOT HAPPY IN YOUR HEART MOST CHANCES HE ISNT EITHER.
MAY YOU FIND YOUR TRUE HAPPINESS
"We haven't made love for years ( we satisfy each other once a week) and although I have asked him to have intercourse with me he said he isn't ready yet."
Are you saying that while you are pleasuring each other weekly, you are not currently having intercourse?
Does he have an erection problem? (or maybe he thinks so)?
What does he mean "he isn't ready"?
How old are you two?
We are mid 50s. We used to have a very active sex life but I went off it (post menopause) but now I want more he doesn't.
We both still get on well and go out once together. I don't think he is going to give up his "other life" - he seems happy to just keep things going as it is- getting the best of both worlds.
He won't see a counselor.