Cut off ties
I had been with my partner for almost three years. Life with my in-laws were great on the start and we all got along very well. Until half way through the first year problems had started because his mother couldn't keep him in line and her only way for him to listen was for me to get involved , she eventually involved me in every single problem and issue he and her had and would always pin point me in the situation even when I have no clue with what is going on and also befriend my family to find any flaw I had then black mail me, defamed me on social media when none of it was true, back stabs her own son to me and my family, back stabs the both of us to our close friends,verbally abuses me for two years of our relationship ( never once did I swear at her I remained forgiving for two years of our relo) until it got to the point she would involve his side of the family in her and his problems/ me and hers.I out of love always came to his defence and fought for him and us. My partner has a very submissive nature and sometimes let's his family walk over him. Long story short the drama got too much for the both of us we moved out on our own and cut off his side of the family because it wasnt going well after our many attempts of stopping the negativity for me and him mentally and in our relationship. We had been going great alone so much more positive and I've been so happy, weve been the strongest weve been in a long time.
But recently we found out we were expecting a child and he feels he wants his side of the family to be involved again. I've told him I dont feel comfortable with them back in our lives because all we get is negativity and problems even when we are both happy with eachother and I don't want our child to be around people who are verbally abusive and always have negative things to say (no matter how many countless times we both have tried to forgive and forget). He was very firm on rekindling his relationship with them to be involved in our child's life (for the countless number of times) but I was not having any of it and cut him off because the arguments about them are causing me a lot of stress and he would bring up family problems everyday. I've explained let's focus on step one and having this baby first, it didnt get through to him and he wanted more from the situation. A side of me believes he will drop the idea and continue on but another side tells me he's firm on the idea
Am I wrong for wanting a positive surrounding for our unborn child? And cutting someone who backs negativity and problems? Am I just being selfish?
ELLLLLEE first of all congrats on having a baby....but if you feel that your child shouldnt be in their compamy than make your partner sit down and explain him about your fears...why u came at such a decision...
And you are not selfish as you have your future child's best interest...
You tried your level best to stay with them but they were not supportive...
Even exposing an unborn child to negative atomsphere has a negative effect on it...so be strong and let no negativity affect you or your child...
Some distant relatives need to be kept at a distance.
Send pictures, Skype, or phone pictures.
There are SO many ways of "keeping in contact" with people rather than actually being in their presence.
Thank you both , its a bummer because his side live in the same side of the city as us so its inevitable we will cross paths with one or the other family members.
I have no verbal or social media contact with any of them after finally at my wits end with our last encounters.
I'm happy to know there are others who feel I'm not being selfish.