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What to make of this...

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After posing a question about our relationship 2 times prior to this, I asked my GF of nearly 3 years the following:
I need to know if im just treading water with you... im deeply concerned about us. I know you don't like talking about this stuff... and i dont want to beat a dead horse by asking either.

Her reply:
Nothing to be concerned about, I'm running in status quo mode......but need to make some personal changes......myself

What to make of this...

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Did you ask what those "personal changes" are?

What to make of this...

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The short answer: NO.

The medium answer: Not yet, but I most definitely will on Friday. We won't see each other until then. This is normal.

The long answer: She may be referring to something "personal" as in ....ahem...err... her....uhhh... weight. I think she looks fabulous, and I tell her every day... I'm not one of those guys who doesn't know how to give a compliment. I tell her she's beautiful, I tell her she's attractive. I say what I mean...and I mean it, and I show her I mean it with actions. Thing is I mean it. She is beautiful, but she's pretty too.

This is really the first I've heard of this. She's not a typical Chatty Cathy type when it comes to talking about herself and especially not that way when it comes to talk about emotions. She believes that far too many things are serious in life to get all knotted up about trivia. THing is... what's trivia to her may not be to me. That's part of the problem. Often I feel like I'm competing with her past - and 1 person in particular. I also sometimes feel like a shadow in her life. That's my issue I think.

What to make of this...

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You need to realize that it's your gut talking to you which leads you to question your relationship. If all was well, you wouldn't be feeling as if you are treading water after 3 years...and 3 years lets you get to know your GF. Your GF may have personal issues from her past, and if she does, she needs to resolve them properly before she can be with you 100% and hence your 'pick up' of that something is just not right.

Your absolutely right when you state that what's important to you may not be on her radar, but she needs to understand that a successful relationship needs open communication daily and that a caring partner is always open to discussing trivial things to put their other halves questions and queries 'to bed'. She basically contributes to your insecurity when she says something that just creates more questions rather than gives answers...and it shows you that she's insecure too.

It's your choice if you need to be with a partner who doesn't communicate with you the way you need to be and it's your choice to have to ask the basically same question over again in a 3 year relationship.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

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