Husband who needs help
Good Evening everyone,
Little about myself. Been serving in the military for 17 years. I met my wife in 2007, married in 2009. Our marriage has definitely had its ups and downs. My wife just graduated LPN school a month after I deployed in April. The problems I am having is before I left in April, my wife caught me texting another female. The only reason I was texting her was because I felt she wasn't showing me attention plus she was hanging out every now and then with a guy (Who she says is married). I felt alone and I did what I did because I was lonely. The night before I deployed we talked about the issues and I was upfront on why I did it. So now I been deployed for 5 months. The first month or so everything seemed to be alright. We would FaceTime and all that. The past few months, messages stopped coming and and she became more distant. She started taking a liking in different activities she's never done and also been hanging around classmates and the Guy from her class. She said they went to the movies with my kids and ate dinner. Being that I never met him, I told her I thought that was really disrespectful. She's been doing other activities with him as well. It seems like everytime we talk, it's an argument now and she brings up the past issues we had. Today I asked if she even loved me anymore and she said"I love you as a person, but Idk if I'm in love with you" cause of the issues we had. She had mentioned before about separating but insisted she didn't want a divorce. I just feel we have no foundation now. I told I was sorry for not appreciating the things I took for granted(Cleaning house ect). We do have 2 Children together. I know I'm not perfect and being deployed made me realize I was a crappy husband and I want to fix it. She tells me "I can't predict the future". Lastly, I come back from deployment in Jan and leave in April to PCS to Connecticut. She said if she gets in school in NC for RN she plans on staying there...I feel like my life is turned upside down. I wanna make this work but I feel like I am the only one who wants it but yet she said she doesn't want to rush into a divorce. I feel confused and don't know what to do. Any words of wisdom would be of help. Thank you for your time.
I don't know what branch of the military you're in but I believe the base or post that you'll be pcsing to has marriage counseling. Talk to her about it and see if she'd be willing to give it a try. You both have to want this or it's a waste of time. I was in the military for 11yrs I know its stressful on a married life.
Maybe when you return try to spend more time with your family....both of you do various activities together...tell her that she is imoprtant to you....show her that she is important to you...maybe she must have forgetten the magic you guys had...make that magic come alive...she will come back to you....dont worry