I have been married for 3 years. The marriage has been difficult to say the least, to be more specific just a lot of arguments he seems to be very immature for his age, he doesn't have a father so has no frame of reference as to what a real marriage or husband should be. I do believe he is trying his best. I found out he was talking to his ex, she has caused problems in the past as in she tries to contact and he responded. Apparently she was with someone and they broke up she texted him and he answered consoled her which I can even be ok with given the history. But then I realized they had kept contact not constant but like every 3 months or so. It's been over the phone but still. And I'm pissed I haven't told him I know and I'm trying to figure out how to approach the situation. I really want to just be straight up and honest. But that would mean me admitting to the fact that I looked at his phone and since everything was ok with us he would ask me why. The reason is I looked at it because as much as things have improved, the thought doesnt escape my mind that he might lie or hide things and then I go and look and my suspicions are confirmed. Idk how but somehow my husbands phone records things like it has this folder and it says audio recordings so I opened it today. He was sleeping so that's how he didn't notice. There were so many recordings some like 6 hrs long so I think it's something that he inadvertently hits on the phone to record. But there was this one the only recording that was bad it was with his ex they talked about they handt talked for a while so I guess that means they don't talk often but then he said things that I found offensive like he would tell her how I dont want to have kids yet but he does etc. I really want to confront him about it. Should I?
Get into marital counseling ASAP. - preferably with a male counselor.
He is talking to his ex because he seeks women's feedback on his issues.
He needs to bond to a male who can mentor him at this time.