Having a hard time as a college freshman
MESSBEAR - Sep 26 2016 at 23:19
I am a freshman at a college that I did not plan on going to. I was denied freshman acceptance at the school I wanted to attend but given a conditional admission allowing me to be admitted as long as I complete 30 hours and have a 3.3 GPA. I planned on rushing a sorority down here and was very excited, I thought I knew all the right people and was in wherever i wanted. I was dropped by every sorority except two(which were not for me personally and did not even have chapters at the school I plan on transferring to).
When that happened, I lost every friend that I had made that was rushing except for one. We'll call her Sally.
Sally has a boyfriend, call him Frank, who has a best friend as a roommate, well call him Dan. Before school had started, we had all gone on vacations together and hung out everyday. Dan and I were sort of a thing, but not really. But then i found out he had a girlfriend... Then it was like I had to be kept a secret. Depending on Dan's mood I wouldn't be allowed at Frank and Dan's house, even when Sally was living there for a period of time recently.
I met another girl who quickly became my friend, call her Maddie. Maddie liked to party as well as I did, but acted immature and often ruined things for me. We would sometimes get into fights but always make up the next day. Maddie and Sally got along well so dan, frank, and us would hang out often.
A couple days ago, dan, frank, maddie, and I went to get mexican. A boy that maddie and I had hung out with (only really it was maddie and I just went other there for an hour before leaving because they were going to hook up) direct messaged me on instagram asking if i wanted to smoke. She deleted the messages off my phone, so i never really saw what they said but she blew up on me. I had never talked to this guy in my life except for the 30 min I was at his house. She then ditched us at dinner and sent me a series of texts harassing me and calling me some pretty horrible names, accusing me of getting with guys she had gotten with, which is not me at all. needless to say, we are not friends anymore. She was so mean to me I couldn't apologize. Also, I had paid for her meal that night ($15) and she has some very special pieces of clothing of mine. But she has blocked me on everything and I can't get in contact with her to get them back.
But Dan and Frank and Sally and I were still hanging out the next day. Now Frank has been a little snippy to me the past couple days, so I tried to be on my best behavior keep my mouth shut and not give any reason to argue with him or Dan. Dan asked me to drive him to bars (be DD) and I agreed. I gave him some drugs even for free and then when Frank asked me to spot him $20 since he didn't want to take out money at a weird hour I agreed, only if he would pay me back in the morning.
later that night after I had fallen asleep on their couch because I had drunk some and did not want to drive home, I heard a yell from outside and woke up to the front and back door open. I looked outside to find Dan talking to two girls, but I didn't know who they were. Later the girl came in asking who I was. It was Dan's exgirlfriend/girlfriend (don't really know what the deal is) but since I do know her and am semi friends with her she was fine and wasn't made at Dan at all.
But when she left, Dan freaked out. He started to yell at me and throw things and slamming doors, trying to get me to leave.
I had to leave first thing in the morning, but I was so sad I cried myself back to sleep and slept 15 hours...
This afternoon I asked Frank for the $20 I had lent him. He refused, said he only had $6, then proceeded to tell me that I mooched off him all the time and that I was annoying and was always at his house uninvited and just more lies. I thought we were all friends?
Basically I need some help. I need new friends. Right now I only have Sally, but she is too focused with Frank that I can't even count her as a friend. If I text her, frank will call or text me to leave her alone. I don't know whats going on. But I am not having it and really just want to find a way to make new friends and be happy right now.
Ok listen up think of how kids always feel like it's the end of the world in high school. There's social pressures, growing up and fitting in. Obviously it's not the end for them it just feels like it bcuz their whole life revolves around high school. Kids who have more social outlets feel less pressure bcuz their mind and lives are focused in different areas.
This is sort of like your situation. Things feel super bad for you because your few friends have become your whole life in a sense. You need to follow your own advice and make new friends. Create new social outlets for yourself. Find a hobby (I know that sounds lame but find things that peak your interests).
The group of friends you have now don't sound good for you. Frank obviously has shown you a side of him which suggests he's really not a true friend. Massive sounds like a hot mess! And Dan doesn't care about u if he felt you weren't important enough to leave his gf for.
Just remove yourself from these people and their toxic ways. It might feel really awful at first but you will only feel worse if you stick around. These people don't respect you and their disrespect for u will only grow. Sammy seems like your only friend but given her relationship with frank it makes for a bad combination if you just don't cut ties. Focus on school and bettering your life.
Figure out your major and start working on it. Volunteer at places to improve your knowledge and experience in the work force. Bettering yourself will lead you to a better place in the future. Move on buddy, you'll be better off.