About to move out of home with nothing
FLORA - Sep 30 2016 at 06:27
To start, I'm a 20 year old girl who faced the college selection exam (A/L's) last year and now been selected to a university.
So now I have been home for precisely a year and in our country, we still have to wait for another half a year until college starts.
My problem is, I have no financial independence not just because I'm 20 already and going to have to stay far from home for 4 years and should be getting ready for it by now, but also because my parents are practically unemployed (my dad is 60 and left work recently and my mom just does some sewing gigs at home) and times are so so hard for us. Bills accumulating and debts all around.
But my parents, for some unknown reason (for they don't explain) don't care to find me a job and are really passive about it. They won't let me do anything such as working in restaurants/retail stores, giving low income and my good grades as reason and it's quite clear I'm not fit for those jobs they have in their mind because I'm only out of school.
I don't have the basic things other people my age have such as a phone or a portable pc, let them alone, not even enough clothes. I'm never the type to party, shop, drink or any type of socializing and spending money, clearly because we've never had any.
And I've been perfectly okay with it and studied well because I knew I had to, because it's all my parents' sweat and I had to get them and myself all out of this hell.
But now, I'm really afraid and insecure, for I couldn't save any or get essentials I would need to live away from home, and I feel like I would face a lot of trouble once the time comes.
The surprising thing is, at least after a year, I only explained them that it would be nice if I had a laptop to help (my major will be computer science) after I recieved selection results, and my mom looked really convinced and started telling father that he should find me some job, while she too all the time had been strict that there's no need to work for there's 'only a little time left to go to college.'
I just thought, 'god, had they not had any idea before?' I can't believe they could be this blind.
So that was a few weeks ago and she's now again changed and says the same thing as before. And father, I think he's always been careless, it's my mom who cared about schooling and tution, and he asks why should I be so urgent to work. Same thing he asked a year ago.
I've understood that they are extremely clueless when it comes to my needs and it was really clear when mom told dad to consider things only after I mentioned about a laptop.
I don't know if my fears are useless and I plan too far ahead and I'm overly troubled than I should be, but I'm afraid I won't be able to live properly as a normal person on my own once I moved out to somewhere I've never been, with no one and no thing. I feel like it's too late for I have only six or seven months, but I can't bear to think that I wasn't allowed to go out and save something for myself and maybe even support my family for the last whole year. I'm depressed and insecure.