I'm married and kissed my high school sweetheart
I am married with children and kissed my high school sweetheart of many years.... I had not done so in nearly two decades and now I have no one to talk to about the feelings this brought. I feel guilty, but it also reminded me of what I have been missing all these years without even realizing it was missing from me. Feeling loved. That kiss reminded me of love, it's not to say I have thought of him all these years, we have been friends... mostly since we dated as very young kids... being friends came easy. "This feeling I have is so unexpected. Suddenly I crave to feel loved and what saddens me is that I don't feel that way already. I should, right. It makes me feel guilty and angry at life at the same time. My husband is good to me, like any other relationship we have had our "growing pains" but perhaps in our short marriage something has gone missing... or was it ever there? I don't know. Now I crave him, my first love,m in the most innocent form of the word, I crave to hold his hand and how perfect it feels in mine, I crave the way he kisses my forehead and brushed his hand across my head with such tenderness. Nearly two decades and I know we both felt it, here I am, a married woman, a mother and still, dare I say, in love with the first one to ever have my heart, is this possible.
It happens in a marriage things aren't the same as they were in the beginning. The attention with each other fades after a period of time (growing apart). I don't know if this high school sweet heart is married but you are. I'd say work on communication in your marriage that's if you still love your husband. The more you stay in contact with this high school sweetheart the more you'll stray from your marriage. And remember you have kids too.
I don't think it's a shame to feel something for your high school sweetheart, I believe if you loved someone once then feelings can always be rekindled. I do believe tho that working on your marriage is what you should focus on tho, if u still love your husband I think maybe it's just excitement and spontaneity u need to try bring back to your relationship,
I think if you want to save your marriage then you may need to cut ties with your high school sweetheart
I love this safe place to talk and thank you so much for the advice... Now as I have matured into my "almost 40's" let's say... I wonder if we ever really had true love. We married because I was pregnant and I feel guilty all these thoughts I have. They are certainly not new because of what recently happened, but for the first time every I find myself wondering about the future. I'm not fantasizing about leaving him for my high school sweetheart but I do now wonder why it is that I don't have that same connection with my husband.... and I think this kiss has made me see all the things that perhaps were there underneath this whole time. Is this making sense?
As I said above communication is very important in a marriage keeping that flame alive. However if you're wondering about the future in all fairness you should at least talk to your husband. How would you feel if it we're the other way around? It sounds like you have strong feelings for your high school sweet heart and don't want to break away from this affair.
As the old saying goes the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.
I can relate to you and what youve done. Am single and i have slept with my school time crush who is married with two kids. So am not here to judge you and give you preachings on what is correct and wrong. It is an overwhelming feeling when you get loved in a way you just want it to happen. You just can not forget that feeling and you will definitely want more of it. I also read that you'll got married because you pregnant. Before you start finding reasons to justify yourself and your actions, take a step behind and just enjoy what just happened. Enjoy it and let it be that way. You don't need to really worry about what you did and what next you need to do.
Yes, it is a utter breach of trust with your husband and unpardonable one. So am not going to give you a trophy for being a saint but lets not blow this out of proportion either. People have suggested you to cut ties with sweetheart of yours. Well i think it is true, cause this doesn't stop here and doesn't stop at this person only. The end of this road is full of pain and it will make you loose all your self respect that you have ever earned in your life.
I dont want to sound like a life coach or something, but honestly, if i were you, i would work on exploring new way to make my self happy. Ofcourse life can get monotonous. You just need to explore newer things to do. Having "good" friends around is of utter importance and dont ever under estimate that. I know these things are extremely hard to talk about, but you need to have one person to who you are accountable for your actions. It may not necessary be your husband, but just a good friend who you can talk freely with and someone who doesn't really sit there judge you. Well, you are old enough to know that better than me.
I hope things work out for the best for you. Take care :)