I'm sick of my roommates crap
SEALGIRL19 - Oct 8 2016 at 16:24
I'm a female and I live with two male roommates, one of which is a ex. Yea I know it sounds messy but I'm living with him so I can save money, finish many last year of school, and not leave the city I'm currently in yet. At first I was willing to leave since I didn't have a job and I didn't know anyone that could've housed me until I get back on my feet. So he offered the idea of moving into a two bedroom with his friend until we can get back on our feet.
We all moved into a two bedroom last month. I covered the first months rent and my portion of second months with money I had save. My ex has a decent paying job and he's able to pay his portion of the rent. Our third roommate however has no money for anything at the moment. I've recently received a part-time job even though it wasn't the best paying it's something to put in my pocket for now plus I go to school full-time. Roommate #3 however, turns down job offers because he feel that they pay too low for him, hurt his back, the job distance is too far,etc. So there's a lot of stress on my ex for paying that third roommate's portion of the rent. ( Which my ex said that roommates will be paying back once he gets a job.)
We also pay utilities which is gas and light. My ex thought it would be a good ideal if me and roommate #3 put each bill in our named so it could motivate us to find a job quicker. I put my name on the light bill and roommate #3 put his in gas. This part is escential to my gripe with roommate #3.
So currently we are nearing our third month in this two bedroom apartment. I have school and work, my ex has work, and roommate #3 has no job and just stay home, clean, play video games, and look for jobs ( allegedly). Once I talked to my ex about roommate #3 basically expressing my concerns about him not having a job and how I feel that he's not taking the job hunting seriously because he keep turning down job offers for whatever reason, coming up with reasons he can't work the jobs me or his friend recommend to him, and when I come home from work/school he's always playing videogames. I vented those feelings to my ex and he later went to roommate #3 and told him I said I felt he wasn't looking for jobs and he turned that into a house meeting about communication. Part of me feels a little betrayed and upset because he twisted my words and told roommate #3 everything I told him without letting me know first. So in the house meeting I was coming from math class and I was already frustrated because I didn't do well on a math test. So to come home to that it made me really irritated. Roommate #3 tried to prove to me that he was applying for jobs by showing a list of places he's been applying to which I could care less about because there are no results coming from them. I told my ex that he twisted my words when he said I said I felt roommate #3 wasn't looking for jobs and he choose the wrong time to do what he did for the sake of communication.
Back to the utilities thing when we applied for utilities roommate #3 was reluctant because he still had his gas bill connected his old place so he had to go through the process of switching it over. My light bill is all set up and that's squared away. The thing that bothers me with the light bill is that roommate #3 is home all day wasting electricity while me and my ex are out a working. So Lord knows how bad that this light bill is going to look like. Plus he has no money for the gas bill so guess who has to take care of that. Granted he said he's paying back for what he owes but what can he pay back with no job?
I'm getting flack from my ex about how he has to front for most of the bill for choices he made and I'm constantly getting guilt tripped and lectured while roommate #3 is on his butt all night playing videogames and doing nothing in my eyes.
I'm just frustrated and wanted to vent because all the people I thought were friends are garbage and I can't trust them for anything. Right now I'm regretting not leaving the city even though I'm close to my degree. Now I'm stuck having to endure this until my lease is up or we get tired of each other.
Given the circumstances, if you're determined to finish your degree, then you will put up with situation but you won't be saving money. Going by your post, your 3rd room mate will drain all of your money. His type always have an excuse and when he finally gets a job, don't be surprised if you see no or very little money being paid back.
Your ex is manipulating you and he needs to understand that his friend is his responsibility and he can't expect you to assist him carry his friend just because you guys share a lease. You need to make this very clear to him if you intend to stay. It doesn't matter what the circumstances were when you first discussed moving in together, what does matter is that everyone who shares a lease needs to contribute and have the means to contribute...otherwise the whole excercise is pointless.
Your ex needs to discuss this with his friend and give him some flack about not paying his share or getting a job urgently, rather than lecturing and guilt tripping you.
I wonder why it was determined that you would be the one to pay the light bill. I mean, that's the electric bill, right? Seems to me you all would use that utility a lot. I think it would have been more fair if you all paid for everything together.
Also kind of cruddy that you have a 2-bedroom place. I'm guessing one of you sleep in the living space? Hopefully, they at least let you have one of the rooms.
If you want my honest opinion, you should either get out of that lease, or leave once the lease is up. Either find a better living situation there, or else try to get back home. Sometimes places will let you leave the lease if you can find someone to immediately replace you. If you decide you want to leave for sure, it is something you can ask about.
It's cool that your ex gave you this opportunity, but he has you stuck in a difficult situation whether or not he realizes that. If he loses his only reliable tenant, he might finally realize that his buddy isn't doing very well at taking care of his share of bills. You could probably just tell him you feel awkward about living with two guys, or something. If he was a decent ex then he will understand it isn't working out for you.
It's up to you whether you can manage until you finish school. Considering the money you've paid out to go to school, you might want to try to hang in there a bit longer for that, at least.