This sounds so weird explaining all this to you considering our relationship. I hope you don't take offence..... xx
Ok, this is screwing my head again....
I have been talking with a mum at school. We each have a son and daughter. Both daughters are the same age and are friends. Our sons are about 6months apart and play together. I also work at the social club with her. We've got quite friendly and close... On a bar shift there was quite a bit of flirting both ways. Late in the evening she admitted that she'd gone behind her husbands back. She was in a similar situation to me, lack of sex and cuddles, compassion at home etc... so I admitted to her I'd done the same and was in the same boat.. the flirting continued. Even after we went home it continued and developed into quite a steamy sexting session. A few days later she text me from the local park. Our daughters were at after school club. I invited her over. The boys played while we talked, we talked about our sexual interests etc. We shared a couple of hugs and kissed goodbye. Not tongues but a good kiss. The next weekend I helped her move house then the following week I took my boy to her place to play while we waited for the girls. Again hugs and some kissing, still no tongues... difficult with the children around... flirting continued at work and a second sexting took place... last Friday wife took children to a friends so I popped round before my bar shift. We talked more and hugged more but again, kissing was limited. I just assumed we were holding back as her kids were there etc. The next night there was a party at the bar. I wasn't working but as part of my committee role was there to help them lock up. We talked in the car park for a while. She was off on holiday on the following Monday and this was the last id see her until she returned. She admitted if we'd finished earlier she'd have invited me over. We kissed and hugged and headed off home... we had limited conversation over the weekend, I'll show you the conversation. We had a little falling out, I upset her I think. Told her I liked to fuss over her and cared about her. Then after heading on holiday Monday she's read but not answered and of my messages despite saying it would be ok as she had wifi in the cabin. So hence I began feeling something was wrong. Believe me I don't know why but since she's been away my stomach has been in knots! I don't understand why....!! Today I asked her if I'd upset her and if everything was ok, she said I'd sort of annoyed her by fussing so much.. eventually she said there wasn't a click between us and wanted to stay friends. Again I'll show you the messages. I pleaded for another opportunity saying I'd been an idiot etc (which I had). She insisted it was her and there was no click. It also probably doesn't help that she knows my wife through school run... I just wish there was something I could do to give me another chance.... how can we not click despite the limited amount of time together and the sexting...??
I'll be seeing her Saturday night, I hope she will give me the chance to talk to her.....
What do you think? am I insane... if it's not gonna happen how do I get over her? What do I say to make it work...??
This seems to be rather like something I'm going through, only mine was a one night thing and yours is a fling. My partner doesn't show any sexual interest in me whatsoever, so when I met someone with the same problem we clicked. It was passionate and everything I was missing and when we talked, it was like we'd known each other forever. I don't know what to tell you. It's hard to let go when you feel something towards a person. Harder for you because you will see her regularly and be forced to remember all your feelings towards her every single time she's around.
My advice is to talk to her and tell her how you feel, you had enough of a relationship to be honest with her. I think she's feeling the guilt an affair brings, and unfortunately nothing you say will salve that guilt. If it's over then you know yourself you won't change her mind. You just need to take it one day at a time until she just becomes a footnote in a chapter of your life.
Sorry I couldn't be more helpful