Feeling down, looking for advice
So, feeling down today about things, so just thought I would try and find some friendly advice. Here's the story.
Travelling round Europe, I met two Italian girls in the Czech Republic. We had a great night, a good laugh, and we exchanged details at the end.
About a month later, I was going to Milan, so I enquired whether I could with either of them. One of them was able to, so I found a place to stay, where I stayed for five days.
The first four days passed without problem. Spent time with both of them, both together and separately, and it seemed to be going swimmingly. Ended up getting on better with the girl I wasn't staying with, but we'll come to that later.
On the 5th day, a friday, we planned to go out in the city. Now, for some reason, although not in a bad mood, I felt a little down anyway, but nothing too bad. So we went out, and this was kind of where the problems, as such, started. I hate nightclubs anyway, never have done as they make me feel quite uncomfortable, but the girls wanted to go so I though with a few drinks that everything would be fine. For a while it was, but eventually I just felt so out of place and a little dr-angry (drunk angry), and I think it may have shown. I went off on my own, even standing outside in the rain waiting as I didn't know how to get back to the flat.
Eventually they came out as well, and we ended going back to two other guys' house. This was horrendous. I tend to be quite a shy person anyway, taking time to warm to people, but it was so hard to say anything, the reason being that the whole conversation was in Italian. I was sat there like a lemon not understanding a word, and I felt like no-one gave a shit. I even mentioned it at one point and asked whether they could try and speak in English ( which three of the five there could do, the other two a little ) or try speaking slower so that I could perhaps understand, but it made no difference. I felt so very alone.
We ended leaving at 7 in the morning, and the two guys didn't seem very happy at all, as they were obviously trying it on. I felt like it was my fault, a feeling that felt aggravated later on by the girls' body language and the atmosphere.
The next morning when we all woke up, there was a bit of an atmosphere. One of them had to leave earlier and it felt very awkward saying goodbye. I stayed around for a while, and chatted with the other girl to try and see if there was a problem, and in all fairness there didn't seem to be, her explaining that none of them wanted to stay anyway, even feeling a little uncomfortable around one of the guys.
All in all though, it was a really bad ending to the week. It had been a nice week up until but ended on a sour note. I had only met them for a few hours in Czech, and while they are friends it is impossible to say they were good friends because we don't know each other that well. I feel like that could now be the end of the friendship, and I really don't know what to do.
I also started developing feelings for one of the girls. We spent one whole day together and it was brilliant. We talked about so much and I felt like we had made a connection. But that seemed to die a little on the next day with everything that went on. I would love to stay in touch with both of them but her especially, but I don't know how to go about it now after that night. What should I do ? Is there even any point in keeping in contact with them for both friendship and feelings levels with the strong possibility that I may never see them again, even though I said they could stay at mine in the UK/Germany whenever they wanted ? Am I perhaps being too sensitive and overreacting ?
Any advice would be much appreciated.
I would say that 1) you stayed too long and 2) it was not their obligation to entertain you during all that time.
Be grateful that you were hosted - by just acquaintances - and had a place to stay.
I know where you are coming from, but I never asked for them to 'entertain' me throughout everyday. That was honestly their own decision to, especially the second girl I wasn't staying with. I am very grateful that I was able to stay with them, and while I know that they are more than likely never going to be great friends I would like to stay in contact, like I said mainly with one of them because I felt we connected quite well.
"We connected quite well.
But that seemed to die a little on the next day with everything that went on"
These girls would have followed up with you if they or one was interested in more than being friends.
Has either of them contacted you?
No, but I sent both of them a message to say thank you for having me and that they are welcome anytime at mine like I said, so there wasn't really any need to send me something first, I only left on Saturday ( sorry, that wasn't made very clear ).
I'm not necessarily looking for something as in a relationship ( although that would be nice ) as it would be impossible anyway at this point, I would just like to at least stay in contact because we got on really well, and like I say, I felt that we connected well, able to talk about personal things and that.