AMAN314 - Oct 17 2016 at 15:19
so here's the story. I had a best friend for 4 years. Her and I were really close and would discuss everything to each other. She shared things with me that she would never and hasn't shared with anyone else. We had almost became more than friends on several different occasions. Well, one night finally it happened we kissed and from there became boyfriend and girlfriend. After a pretty healthy and really fun 7 months she had to leave for school.
The one thing I had mentioned to her was please I know you're going to go out and party but please be responsible don't take it to the next level. Keep in mind this was someone who when she was younger was doing all sorts of drinking and heavy drugs at a really young teenage age. But, she had turned her life around and quit doing all that stuff and became responsible. So, she gets to school and the first month is pretty normal and then the parties start happening and that wasn't a big deal. But, all of a sudden the drinking got taken to the next level of blacking out and puking. Constantly smoking when she hadn't in years. It was that Friday-Sunday of nonstop partying and getting fucked up and it was not like her to be that anymore. But, due to the environment and where she is she feels maybe she has no choice but to do that.
The other problem was she has had and still has depression. Recently, when I visited her last month I seen that she had hurt herself and I said please go see somebody go get help. Because of the long distance and being away from me and her family she feels like she's all alone. There was one night we were on face-time an argument ensued and all of a sudden she looked like she was possessed. saying things like I don't feel good and I know what that meant it meant she was going to do that to herself again so I had to say hey please don't do it I love you please. she ended up not doing it. It was terrifying.
The long distance was too much to bare I think for both of us and yeah it didn't work. I wish it had. I love her as a person. I've known her for so long. she still means the world to me. We broke up Friday. We talked Saturday morning and she was like yelling and saying things off the top of her head like This isn't worth the stress anymore, you're so dramatic this and that. But, quickly back tracked and said i'm not yelling at you i'm yelling at the situation. if the situation were a person i'd be yelling at it. She said to me I love you I really do but I don't think we should get back together. I get it as much as that kills me and I know it kills her I get it. She's like right time right place when we can see each other on a consistent basis like 3 years. But lets be real you cant wait 3 years for something that might not be there. But, if it happens awesome.
Tbh though there could've been more of an effort on her side. I know we all have work and school and things to do but she always said she had so much more to do than me. But, I mean maybe i'm just talking as though if it were me being away for school if I have a relationship if there is a chance i'm gonna be like hey call me tonight for an hour. If i can't do it tonight say hey too busy tonight I promise tomorrow i'll call you. I would've driven up more to see her but even the first time I almost couldn't because she had made friends 8 hours ago and "might have potential plans with them over the weekend". She said some stuff that from my point of view sometimes were a little offensive and insulting but I looked over it because I loved her.
The last thing I did was I had told my mom about all of it and she mentioned to me that I had better do something because if I didn't say anything and she had done something terrible to herself I would've felt awful. Awful knowing that I could've said something and didn't. So, I went to her best friend and told her everything about her thoughts and actions of hurting herself. Her best friend replied and was thank you so much for telling me seriously. i'm talking to her right now. The thing is i'm not going to be there anymore to help her and she doesn't tell anyone else this stuff but me so someone else but me needs to know. Quickly after telling her best friend she had blocked me on Facebook, instagram, etc. and I get it like she's mad but I rather her be pissed than to down the line go and do something terrible.
So yeah that's what happened any advice lol
Yeah I know she went from I love you I don't wanna be with anyone else but I cant be with you. To let's just regroup and come back to it to we'll stay together if you want to. To lets not be together at all it was so confusing. Regardless of what she wants I want her to be safe and for her to not be feeling that way.
Your friend seems to be in downward spiral. I think you should inform her parents-they maybe the only ones who can really get her the help she really needs. She says "I don't want to be with anyone else, but I can't be with you" "we'll stay together IF YOU Want to" MEANS I"M NOt that into you please don't pretend that this girl is "relationship material"
What you want for her is out of your control MOVE ON!!!
Yeah I was thinking about telling her parents but then again that's difficult in of itself. That's kind of awkward too to sit there and say this about your daughter. I don't know how I would go upon that if I did.