My husband contacting other women
MY3MONKEYS - Oct 30 2016 at 14:23
I found out my husband has a second email and fake facebook account tied to it. I was able to get into the Facebook account where I found he had sent messages to other women. These women are at least 5 years younger than him. His messages tell them how beautiful they are and how he's smitten by them. These are not women he knows, he's just sending messages to women hoping they'll respond.
My husband has always been super sexual and insecure. In the past, we've had issues with him reaching out to women for validation. I can only assume this is what is happening again. My question is, what would drive a man to seek validation from other women so strongly that he's willing to create a new email and Facebook in order to do it? Our marriage has been a little rocky lately, but only due to his alcoholism (which I struggle with as well). I love this man. I don't know what to do and what to say to him. We have 3 small children and the idea of divorce breaks my heart. I have no one to talk to about this because I don't want people to look at him differently.
Is he just talking to these women online/on the phone or is he meeting up with them too? You mentioned that he is super sexual so do the two of you have intercourse often or very little? Men like compliments and attention from women just like women like it from their man or a man in general. Do but he's married so if he's going to meet up with them and having sex with them then its a problem. I'm divorced and was married for 6yrs so I know how the married life is but he will only do and get away with what you allow. Don't allow him to disrespect you in any way.
From my experience they do it for validation (the reasons why they need validation vary of course). Not because you are doing anything wrong, the insecurity lies with them and is deep rooted since they go to these lengths to get it. Unfortunately he won't quit unless he knows he's going to lose you if it continues. It might just be innocent messages but its better if you confront him about it now before it escalates.
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. It is hugely disrespectful whether it's for validation or not. He's a married man, it shouldn't be other women he seeks to help him with his insecurities...it should be a counsellor.
Tell him how this is making you feel and don't allow anyone to disrespect you like that, no matter how much you love him.
You don't need to put up with that and if you tolerate it and he continues to do it you too will become insecure and it's a horrible way to be.