Why am I not enough
Hi! I am a 29 year old with no the most pleasant relationship past. All my ex relationships were turbulent. Recently I met somebody who is wonderful and makes me laugh. The sex is also great but.. when we met he was i to me for a Ling time and I didn t want to start anything.. cause he has kind Of an open relationship. I lost mu control once and since then we spend half of the week together and have wonderful time! The problem is that he is stil seeing someone and I ignored that. Last week we were together 6 nights and next day he stayed somewhere else. I am completely lost since the time we spend together is wonderful and I am falling for him but can't deal with the fact that I m the 3rd person. On the other hand he makes me laugh and does crazy things for me.I tried to leave but I m so happy after all this time that I don't know what to do..I like him tremendously,but I don't want to lose my integrity and self respect.I am..pissed and hungry for him. I need it somehow to stop or develop. And how come you spend so much time with somebody and still have an urge to be somewhere else?
Honestly and sadly, this is one of the biggest disadvantages of an open relationship. Firstly it is unreal. Secondly, you will never ever get this treatment with anyone else. He will treat you as a princess because he knows that you since you'll spend very less time together, you would want to make it count. So why would he not take the royal treatment ? He will never ever commit to you for a serious relationship my dear. You may try as much as you want. He may even agree to be a part of you, but its not going to happen.
You may have had turbulent relationships in the past but this is the other extreme of things. You will certainly enjoy every bit of it. But my honest suggestion to you would be that don't take this all very seriously. You will end up in tears. You will loose the patience to have a stable partner in your life. This is a very addictive and tempting offer. So enjoy it as a leisure thing, but i would never ever encourage you to continue to be like this.
No person can be truthful when he is loving two people at once. He will tell you things and also do things that will make you happy. But he will never give his heart to you. There are good people out there who will genuinely love you and care for you. It may take a while, but its worth the wait. Plus, it worth the effort also. You are just wasting your time and energy on something that isnt really going to work out. He officially doesn't owe you an explanation. So what happens when he finds a better girl than you ? He walks out without an explanation ? Is that what you really want ?
Hope you make the right choice in life :)
I have to completely disagree. If he really practices open, like polyamorary, he values honesty and love and he'll be very honest. He'll also communicate extremely well. You'll be able to talk about anything and everything. You just have to accept that no person is everything to another. Everyone has to find what they need, even if it takes multiple people. Heck, you may even find that you like his other woman. You both know about the other. Some poly people like to meet the other members of the family.