Desperate for attention
My husband of 23 years always goes to bed before me. I am the one that tucks the kids in a makes sure everything is ready for the next day. Once I finally get to bed there is a pillow in between us and he is rolled on his side asleep away from me. I have explained how bad this hurts me and how I long for him to hold me. He acts like it is no big deal and never tries to wait up for me or ever engage in any meaningful conversation.
"My husband of 23 years always goes to bed before me. I am the one that tucks the kids in a makes sure everything is ready for the next day."
Wow - how long has THIS been going on?
Sounds like you both have slipped into a bedtime habit - resulting in what's happening when you get to bed: a frustrated woman and snoring man.
Your husband sounds like he feels he puts 8 hours into his job and that home-life is not included in his daily commitment. Did you help foster that, over the years?
Start by dividing up the "tasks" that need to be done before bedtime with the kids. In the meantime, whisper sweet nothings in his ear and pinch him - to let him know you are "in the mood" and it's in his interest to stay awake for that.
(May I ask your ages, and the kids)