Not as good as it seemed
Hello all. So as of 2 weeks ago my wife came back from a work trip where she was gone for a month. Since she's been back though, she has been incredibly distant from me. She told me I am too messy and she's not sure we are compatible as a couple.
What hurts the most is we both cone from divorced parents and we swore that divorce would never be an issue which I still stand by. However, she tells me she's on the line and doesn't know if she will be able to come back. We have only been married 1 year and it so deeply wounds me that she is even considering it before any attempt of real help. I feel our relationship is falling apart and seems so disposable in her eyes. Sometimes it's truly hard to think she really does love me or not.
Sorry it's so long. Any advice would be wonderful.
Is there any chance that your wife may have cheated, been tempted to cheat, or otherwise been unfaithful during her work trip? She could be acting this way because of a fling while she was away. I'm not sure that's the most probable situation though, unless you suspect it otherwise.
Did you two speak often while she was away by phone/FaceTime? Is it usual for her to travel for that long?
It could also be that, with time away, she was able to gather her thoughts and feelings about your relationship and how it is not how she wants it to be. When your always in each other's space and in day to day life it can be hard to get perspective, even if you know you're not happy.
Or you could really just be bugging her since she got back, because she's used to having less responsibility to another person and more freedom. She also hasn't had to make the adjustments of living with another person for a month, so it might be irritating to come back to that (especially if you are fairly different personalities). If that's the case she should get over it pretty soon.
I know I've spent 1+ months away from my husband a few times in the past, and you do think about your relationship during that time, it is nice to have that freedom, and it can be hard to readjust.
Hope this turns out well for you. :-)
You say she's on the line and doesn't know if she will be able to come back. Are you both separated?