As a thirteen year old girl, I have a constant anxiety.
Varying, to I'm not feeling accepted, or I didn't finish my homework assignment from two weeks ago.
Lately though, I've been restless.
I guess I'll start with the fact that my parents are stone cold Italian. Both of them. Me too, I guess. But THAT doesnt really matter. Because I don't have any authority. They do.
While most kids my age are able to have a certain extent of freedom. Mine is cut short. I love my mother with all of my heart but she is very overprotective. They're both strict. I'll probably thank them one day, but I'm focusing more on my current 'issue', if I can call it that.
I feel insecure and useless about myself already, most days. And I'm working to make myself feel better. That's not the point exactly, I want to prove something to myself. I want to show myself that I CAN do something, even in my utter lack of any self-made decisions and freedom. I have so many life goals that billions of people have already that are my age. I tell myself I'm special, that I'LL be the one to make it.
I'm not sure.
There's not a single thing I can recall that I hold deep pride in myself for doing to this day.
Mostly, I think this all relates to not having my freedom. I feel so damn cooped up. When I try to associate my needs to an activity or something I can simply grasp.
I tell myself I want to drive away, (ignoring the fact I can't drive) down a long ass road where no one will find me. Alone.
Why yes, it's all very clique and quite typical.
I don't really give a shit.
I want a world where I'm not just looked at as a little kid. Where I can have a valued opinion.
There's so many things I want to do in life and it scares me how much of a rush I'm in, but I'm just such an anxious person.
The main question being, I believe that things will fall into place eventually, and life will show you along the road what you really need. I guess I'm looking for help, I'm anxious and just want to feel value in myself and I want to live a life.
I guess this is less of a question and more a call to the wiser, more experienced, or perhaps anyone who may feel the same way.
Reading this and taking your time to acknowledge what I'm saying is something I'm already greatful for. Thanks!!!
"I can see how this would be a tough time, and I can only imagine.
I would first like to let you know that you shouldn't feel guilty for your fiancé's emotional state, though it is wonderful that you care (which I would assume anybody should in this situation).
Imagine the situation went vice versa, and you were to move to Canada with him. You may be feeling the same way he does now. In time, though, you would find a way to get through it, since you two have eachother.
In this situation, there is not much for you to do, except not feel accountable. He is a bit homesick, but he WILL get over it. Since he has you, and your home will most likely become familiar, like a home should. His job situation will be fixed, everything will end fine.
There is nothing you can do except wait it out and give him all your love.
I'm sorry if this wasn't your most productive answer but it's truest of true Grinning
Hope that you can figure this out together!"
"Thank you so much Claire, for your wonderful advice.", said original poster HH2018.
"I agree with Claire', said I, der moderator und senior adviser, having zero clue at that point that the bearer of that incredible insight + creative imagination + empathy were only thirt-ONLY THIRTEEN??? :-o So - 'not a single thing you can recall that you hold deep pride for doing' - are you bonkers?! I thought Lily was impressive enough at only 18 (go see her thread). But YOU? Woah!
So that's that nonsense dealt with, isn't it... ;-p
Listen, whatever your parents, led by the umbilicus-holder, 'subject' you to is obviously working! And the truth is, you'd feel insecure about yourself and useless/placeless (*and fat 'n ugly if you were very unlucky!) even IF you had every freedom in the world, at your age/stage, you can bet your bum on that, *regardless* that a lot of teens deal with it by keeping it under very careful lock and key from their peers in their bid to convince everyone they're already adults (and don't have parents, LOL). It goes with the teenage territory, I'm afraid.
Look at it this way: You want to go out and its cold, window and rainy. Does it REALLY matter whether you put your wellies on before your anorak, scarf and gloves or any other order? You are GOING to get all the items on and get out of the door, eventually.
Here's what happens when other kids get given a, these days, too long leash: they party-party-party during their teen years and then BAM! - delayed "new self"-discovery and re-acquaintance = harder task = lengthier task...because they didn't get the chance when they had it. Preparation is *everything*, Claire...
Cure is a giant hassle and a sign of delay or procrastination.
You're doing the former *now*, which means, whilst those other runners that seemed to be laps ahead of you will be sitting around in their early to mid twenties (or whenever) with crises in confidence and not knowing where to put themselves or what to do whilst they're there (or taking a long nap), you who got all that out of the way when you were supposed to will be at the finishing post, crossing that winning line, long before them. You're the tortoise and they're the hare(s), you win.
"I want a world where I'm not just looked at as a little kid. Where I can have a valued opinion."
Well, then, you've found it, haven't you!
...This or any other forums or online activities/businesses. Really, though, if I'm honest, I think you should definitely stay here, it's a far classier forum than most and - you fit right in, petal.
What else do you think you could use this here portal we call Ether for? Can you, for example, make stuff...get your mum to (over 18) sell it on any of the craft sites, make some savings (ready for When)? That'd give HER something other than just you to busy herself with, wouldn't it. Not that I'm criticising her, obviously. But maybe she needs something to help her start to ease up and off just a little, but whereby she can feel she's still keeping you safe and healthy by, to an extent, accompanying you? This is about learning to turn lemons into anywhere between nice Lemonade and De Luxe (M&S) Lemonade.
Food for thought?