Ex bf keeps contacting me. Help!
Long story short.
I met my ex two years ago. We dated for 10 months. Things were ok and then went really down hill the last two months of the relationship. I broke up with my ex October of last year. He had lied to me the entire time about being an addict. He lied to my face about multiple things for 10 months. I am very anti drugs and I can still remember him talking about how drug addicts are gross and things like that. His family lied for him. Friends lied. He should have won an Emmy for his performance, truly. He brought drugs into my house without me knowing. Pretended he was mugged when he spent his money. Stole my tablet and blamed it on my roommate. All kinds of bad things.
When things ended I told him not to contact me ever. I was totally done with him. In January of this year he would call me from random numbers, send me texts, etc. All about wanting me back. I blocked him from everything and moved on with life. In August of this year, I recieved another text from him. He wanted to apologize for everything and then proceeded to tell me what I needed to do for him to get closure. So I blocked him again without response. Now it's November and this is what I got today:
" It has been quite some time now since we have had any contact with each other. I am not contacting you with expectation or even any hope that you will even acknowledge my message or my existence. I realize that I made some terrible mistakes that hurt you beyond belief. If that was enough to never want to hear from me again I understand. But please just return this email saying that you dont want contact from me please. the zero response keeps my hope up and it kills me. I just want resolution. I still think about you every day. not strictly in a romantic way whatsoever. Just a caring way where I think oh Chelsea would love this!!! or memories come up and its always you. I have come to realize that yes I was capable of actions that hurt you terribly, but at the same time I formed a caring loving bond that I have never had with anyone else. Chelsea please dont kill me with this silent treatment. at least tell me to fuck off if thats how you feel. I cant take the silence. I just want to hear from you as a caring other person. please dont deprive me of that."
Still all about him and how he feels and what he wants. I decided to send this back:
" I don't have any interest in having contact with you. Please leave me alone"
And this is what got sent back:
" I appreciate your response. I wish I could understand why exactly you dont want anything whatsoever to do with me. I mean I don’t know. I am sorry if you are irritated by my attempts to contact you, but I would hope you could see it from my side… Guy who makes some really big mistakes loses girl he doesn’t appreciate or realize how amazing they are because of their own personal problems finally realizes how badly he messed up and wants to do anything he can at the right pace to be back involved in that person’s life. I just wonder how you are doing and if you went back to school and all of these things. I have dated other people and all that. I dunno even if its just at a friendship level I really care about you and hope you are doing well. I get it if you don’t respond. I don’t get why you wouldn’t want to talk to me. Honestly I think its kinda fucked up. You went into the relationship knowing I was an addict. That right there was a disclamer. Ya know I fucked up, it wasn’t directed at you. All I know is that life is so much better now and I am really happy on a regular basis. If my relapsing and lying about it for 2 months is enough for you to hate me to the point of never wanting to talk to me then so be it but I just don’t understand. Either way I really do care about you and I wish you the best. I would be with you in an instant and do things over and right if I could. Anyways, Im sorry I am bringing anger out of you. "
One, NEVER knew he was an addict. He told me he didn't drink because he got carried away in college. Never said he had a problem EVER.
Two, he didn't lie for 2 months. He lied the entire time. Multiple times.
Three, he goes from understanding to not understanding multiple times.
If he would have sent me a sincere apology without any sort of expectation, I may have considered writing something nicer back.
My question: respond or no? Continue to block? What should I do if he keeps contacting me. I'm borderline in another relationship and I want him to leave me alone.
Block him for good because he's already managed to get you to respond when you didn't need to. You made a decision last year and you need to stick to it and get on with your life without giving him the satisfaction of continuing to manipulate you.
Never try to argue with an addict. Don't respond to him. Block or change any number he might have access to.
He wants attention and he enjoys the banter back and forth.
The next thing, he will try to blame YOU for all his actions.
Be done with him. Don't answer any more of his little-boy attention seeking messages.