My wife is willing to leave me for a woman
So here's the problem. My wife recently made a new friend at work who she has come very close with, very close. It's to the point my wife is willing to leave me because she wants to do "stuff" with her but I don't really like the thought of it. For some reason she is all confused now, she has all these feelings for this women, we have been together for four years and share 2 kids (one is not mine) and I'm jut confused.
I told her I maybe willing to let her aslong as I can join or watch, but if I let her do it I'm scared she will leave me for good. She says she loves me to death, and I believe her, I just don't know where these emotions and feelings (urges) are coming from. Please someone give me some insight as what I should do, she is my world and I live her to death. Thank you
I think I'll let ONTHEROAD give advice on this situation.
Not sure what you consider to be the "problem":
1) that your wife wants to have a lesbian relationship
2) that your wife wants to cheat on the marriage vows.
3) that you want to watch her sexual activity with another person
Well number 1 and 2. I don't really want it to happen, but I think it's the fact that I'm surpressing her from doing it makes her want to do it more and push me further away. Like do most women go through this type of stage?
Your wife is seeking permission to have an affair. (never mind it is with another woman.)
THAT is what is going on.
Will she go to counseling with you?
I took a poll...
One guy said he wouldn't mind being in your situation as long as he could participate once in a while. Another guy whom is a bit more eccentric claims that he knows friends with open marriages.
He said one friends wife like yours had a girlfriend. Apparently the girlfriend fell in love with the husband and they wound up getting a divorce. Overall most guys and gals all agree no matter if it's same sex or opposite it's wrong and ultimately is a deal breaker in a marriage.
Apperently it's suppose to be just about every guys dream to have this happen but wait till you have to live it. I mean we did talk about it and I talked to the other women and we agreed in a threesome. My wife doesn't seam to pleased about it because she wanted her all to her self but if she loves me and doesn't want me to leave this is what's Gotta happen because she isn't letting up on wanting to do it anytime soon so I am willing to compromise if she is.
But it's just their whole friends ship just feels like cheating because she has her phone locked won't give me the code was sending nudes (which I have never gotten) and just always right secretive. It's getting really annoying and it sucks to be threatened by a female.
the women said she will leave my wife alone and stop being friends with her but that would make the wife hate me even more
You really are in a bit of a pickle. I can't really put my self in your place because I've never been there. But I will say i'd most definitely be outraged if it were another man.
Sounds like your wife wants the best of both worlds only you or her to herself not both because it poses a possible threat to your marriage. Maybe counciling might be a good idea.
I've thought about that is already, talked to a reverend that is a good friend of mine for for some wisdom as to what to do. It's just to the point that it's going to be over because even though they haven't "done" anything yet she is putting me in second place and not caring about how I feel. My mind can't take much more and I can't put our son through this if we can't be happy. We talked about the whole open relationship but it would only go one way since I can't exactly go out and meet new people when I have my kid all the time while she's out partying and working.
Our lives were so happy before this thing came along.
How do you deal with manulative and two faced person that is a chronic lier?
I think I understand your problem, and probably why your woman is acting like that. I think that what's really hurting is the fact that she would just put you aside like that, like you aren't entitled to have feelings. She can't just do that, and she isn't thinking about your sons only about herself, she is really being selfish.
It isn't everybody dream, and everyone is just different and you have the right to be what you want to be, and I don't think you should agree to a threesome if isn't what your feeling wants to.
Back in my freshman years at university I met this girl and had a crush for her, and I never felt like that for another woman. We dated but I couldn't handle it and probably its whats gonna happen to her too. She had all this relationships with her ex girlfriends like it was a ok thing ( and it is in the lesbian community in general) and sex is just different. You can't compare. I regret it thought I was just curious nothing more.
If she is making u feel miserable and like you are the only one caring for ur kids, just leave her and one day be sure she will regret it.
You can't deal with one, they will just try to manipulate you everytime you give them the chance.
Where there is no trust there is no relationship at all, think about this. She is someone who you can't trust, she hides things from you all the time.
If you really wanna save this marriage and be with her try counseling thought In your place I wouldn't.
Wow thank you very much mockingbird! I told her if it's really what she wants in life to just go and do it. We are keeping it together for the kids because of Christmas. I said after Christmas if she still feels this way me and our son are gone and I am going to immediately get a lawyer for custody. It's not what i want but if it has to be it has to be. You cannot fake a relationship and if one person isn't happy it's just makes you miserable like I already am.
I hate the fact of breaking up or child from one another but it is what it is. She won't know what she has until it's gone. It's a pretty good life right now and is all being thrown out to the curb. It's just amazing that people just throw their life away because it's not what they want in life anymore. But shit happens I guess and she's her own person and mind.
I can't believe how many people are willing to end an important relationship for something that you can get through. She is feeling unjustly controlled and she has another person that is important. You want to control her, like society says you should, and deny her something important. If you can find your way to communicate lovingly and give up your control, you'll have a stronger marriage. Do you want to deny her? Do you want her life to be less that it could be? Tell her you love her and want her to have what she desires but you fear losing her. Tell her you would feel better if you could share the experiencewith her. What would she share? Information? Having you around some? Having some participation? If you give her freedom but communicate and share as much as possible you may save your marriage. You may be glad when grown kids have a single place to come for Christmas. You will be glad you are together with all your shared experiences in 2 years.